A Funny Thing Happened On the Way to the Forum - Finale

[PSEUDOLUS]
Lovers divided
Get co-incided.
Something for everyone--

[HERO & PHILIA]
A comedy tonight!

[PSEUDOLUS]
Father and mother
Get one another.

[DOMINA]
Something for everyone--

[SENEX]
A tragedy tonight!

[MILES]
I get the twins, they get the best.

[ERRONIUS]
I get a family.

[HYSTERIUM]
I get a rest.

[SOLDIERS]
We get a few girls.

[LYCUS]
I get some new girls.

[PSEUDOLUS]
I get the thing I want to be:
Free!

[ALL]
Free! Free! Free! Free! Free!
Nothing for kings, nothing for crowns.
Bring on the lovers, liars and clowns!
What is the moral?
Must be a moral.
Here is the moral, wrong or right:

[PSEUDOLUS]
Morals tomorrow!

[ALL]
Comedy, comedy, comedy, comedy,
Comedy, comedy, comedy, comedy tonight!

A Funny Thing Happened On the Way to the Forum - Lovely

[PHILIA]
I'm lovely,
All I am is lovely.
Lovely is the one thing I can do.

Winsome,
What I am is winsome,
Radiant as in some
Dream come true.

Oh, Isn't it a shame?
I can neither sew
Nor cook nor read or write my name.
But I'm happy
Merely being lovely,
For it's one thing I can give to you.

[HERO]
You're lovely,
Absolutely lovely.
Who'd believe the loveliness of you?

Winsome,
Sweet and warm and winsome,
Radiant as in some
Dream come true.
Now Venus would seem tame,
Helen and her thou --
Sand ships would have to die of shame.

[HERO & PHILIA]
And I'm happy,
Happy that you're/I'm lovely,
For there's one thing loveliness can do
It's a gift for me to share with you!

A Funny Thing Happened On the Way to the Forum - Free

[PSEUDOLUS]
Oh, what a word!
Oh, what a word!
Say it again.

[HERO]
Free!

[PSEUDOLUS]
I often thought,
I often dreamed how it would be--
And yet I never thought I'd be--
Once again.

[HERO]
Free!

[PSEUDOLUS]
But when you come to think of such things,
A man should have the rights that all others--
Can you imagine what it will be like when I am--
Can you see me?
Can you see me as a Roman with my head unbowed?
Sing it good and loud!

[HERO]
Free!

[PSEUDOLUS]
Like a Roman having rights and like a Roman proud?
Can you see me?

[HERO]
I can see you.

[PSEUDOLUS]
Can you see me, a reformer fighting graft and vice?
Sing it soft and nice!

[HERO]
Free!

[PSEUDOLUS]
Why, I'll be so consciencious that I may vote twice!
Can you see me?
Can you see me?
When I'm free to be whatever I want to be,
Think what wonders I'll accomplish then!
When the master that I serve is me and just me--
Can you see me being equal with my countrymen?
Can you see me being Pseudolus the citizen?
Can you see me being--give it to me once again--

[HERO]
Free!

[PSEUDOLUS]
Yes!

[HERO]
Free!

[PSEUDOLUS]
That's it!

[HERO]
Free!

[PSEUDOLUS]
Now, not so fast!
I didn't think--
The way I am,
I have a roof, three meals a day,
And I don't have to pay a thing.
I'm just a slave and everything's free.
If I were free, then nothing would be free!
And if I'm beaten now and then, what does it matter?

[HERO]
Free!

[PSEUDOLUS]
Can you see me?
Can you see me as a poet writing poetry?
All my verse will be--

[HERO]
Free.

[PSEUDOLUS]
A museum will have me pickled for posterity.
Can you see me?

[HERO]
I can see you.

[PSEUDOLUS]
Can you see me as a lover, one of great renown?
Women falling down--

[HERO]
Free?

[PSEUDOLUS]
No.
But I'll buy the house of Lycus for my house in town.
Can you see me?
Can you see me?
Be you anything from king to baker of cakes,
You're a vegetable unless you're free.
Such a little word, but oh, the difference it makes!
It's the necessary essence of democracy,
It's the thing that every slave should have the right to be,
And I soon will have the right to buy a slave for me.
Can you see him?
Well, I'll free him!
When a Pseudolus can move, the universe shakes,
But I'll never move until I'm free.
Such a little word, but oh, the difference it makes!
I'll be Pseudolus, the founder of a family,
I'll be Pseudolus, the pillar of society,
I'll be Pseudolus the man, if I can only be--

[HERO]
Free!

[PSEUDOLUS]
Sing it!

[HERO]
Free!

[PSEUDOLUS]
Spell it!

[HERO]
F-r- double--

[PSEUDOLUS]
No, the long way!

[HERO]
F-r-e-e!

[PSEUDOLUS AND HERO]
Free!