THE MAGNETIC FIELDS – Your Girlfriend’s Face

So I’ve taken a contract out on you
I have hired a hitman to do what they do
He will do his best to do his worst
After he’s messed up your girlfriend first

I said he’ll do his worst
To your girlfriend first

‘Cause I’ve hired the fixer for her too
For stealing my lover and making me blue
He’ll have to hose off your twisting place
After he blows off your girlfriend’s face

I want the whole bloody place
Wet with your girlfriend’s face

So I’ve taken a contract out on y’all
For make me feel infinitely small
In the evenings I devise your death
Being buried alive on crystal meth

Baby, I’d give you death
By, by, by crystal meth

THE MAGNETIC FIELDS – With Whom To Dance?

Moons in June
I’ve given up on that stuff
Arms have charms
But I’ve no hope of falling in love

The rest of life pales in significance
I’m looking for somebody with whom to dance
With whom to dance? With whom to dance?
I’m looking for somebody with whom to dance

Rings and strings
What use have I for these things?
Bells and carousels
I’d just be fooling myself

The rest of life pales in significance
I’m looking for somebody with whom to dance
With whom to dance? With whom to dance?
I’m looking for somebody with whom to dance

And you, you look like heaven
An angel who stepped from a dream
777 times lovelier than
Anything I’ve ever seen

The rest of life pales in significance
I’m looking for somebody with whom to dance
With whom to dance? With whom to dance?
I’m looking for somebody with whom to dance

THE MAGNETIC FIELDS – When My Boy Walks Down The Street

Grand pianos crash together when my boy walks down the street
There are whole new kinds of weather when he walks with his new beat
Everyone sings hallelujah when my boy walks down the street
Life just kind of dances through ya from your smile down to your feet
Amazing he’s a whole new form of life
Blue eyes blazing and he’s going to be my wife
The world does the hula-hula when my boy walks down the street
Everyone thinks he’s Petula so big and yet so petite
Butterflies turn into people when my boy walks down the street
Maybe he should be illegal he just makes life too complete…
Amazing he’s a whole new form of life
Blue eyes blazing and he’s going to be my wife
Oh, shadows of echoes of memories
Oh, things that he brings that he found in the sea
Oh, shadows of echoes of memories of songs
Oh, how could he know that it won’t be long…
Grand pianos crash together when my boy walks down the street
There are whole new kinds of weather when he walks with his new beat
Everyone sings hallelujah when my boy walks down the street
Life just kind of dances through ya from your smile down to your feet

THE MAGNETIC FIELDS – The Only Boy In Town

Oh if only you were the only boy in town
For then I could not play the field and let you down
I would not go half-mad for each passing lad
With eyes of blue, green, gray, or brown
No, if only you were the only boy in town

Oh if only you were the only boy in France
Our life would not be like one long, long, long seance
I think I would endeavor to love you forever
Instead of only for the nonce
If-if only you were the only boy in France

With the only boy in town
With the only available male
In the loneliest possible world
There would be no daily betrayal

Oh if only you were the only boy alive
And I were the queen of our small, small, small beehive
Though more pricks than a cactus may always distract us
Would they all take up all my sex drive?
Not-not-not if you were the only boy alive

Oh if only you were the only boy in town
Oh if only you were the only boy in France

THE MAGNETIC FIELDS – The Machine In Your Hand

I want to be the machine in your hand and go wherever you go
Your every touch would be my command and I wouldn’t be so slow
We’d be together in Wonderland and I’d light you with my glow
I want to be the machine in your hand and go wherever you go

I don’t know why I love you
You’re not really a person
More a gadget with meat stuck to it

I see less and less of you
As you worsen and worsen
I think you’re disappearing through it
No doubt you’re just ahead of the curve
I only wish that I had the nerve to say

I want to be the machine in your hand and go wherever you go
Your every touch would be my command and I wouldn’t be so slow
We’d be together in Wonderland and I’d light you with my glow
I want to be the machine in your hand and go wherever you go

You can hold me for hours
Wouldn’t that be terrific?
We can feel our connection growing
I’ll have magical powers
Only less scientific
You and I will become all knowing
Such a machine, what would it be worth?
Sitck with me, kid, we’ll conquer the earth

I want to be the machine in your hand and go wherever you go
Your every touch would be my command and I wouldn’t be so slow
We’d be together in Wonderland and I’d light you with my glow
I want to be the machine in your hand and go wherever you go

THE MAGNETIC FIELDS – The Horrible Party

Take me away from this horrible party
And let me get home to Mother
Don’t make me stay at this horrible party
And I’ll never go to another

People are shedding their inhibitions and their clothes
Many are sprawled on divans painting each other’s toes
Everyone seems to be stuffing something up his nose
A player piano is tinkling “Anything Goes” again and again

Deliver me from this horrible party
And I will give you some money
Why, why are we at this horrible party?
And I don’t see what’s so funny

Here in the darkness known hitherto only to moles
People are using the slang they picked up from the proles
Everyone’s finding new uses for muffs and mink stoles
And “Anything Goes” goes again, how they know all the roles

Some plastic surgeon’s done horrible things to poor Jane
Making her terrifically popular, men are insane
“Anything goes” is the motto and endless refrain
My dear, it was heaven until they ran out of champagne

THE MAGNETIC FIELDS – The Book Of Love

The book of love is long and boring
No one can lift the damn thing
It’s full of charts and facts and figures
and instructions for dancing
but I, I love it when you read to me
and you, you can read me anything

The book of love has music in it
In fact that’s where music comes from
Some of it is just transcendental
Some of it is just really dumb
but I, I love it when you sing to me
and you, you can sing me anything

The book of love is long and boring
and written very long ago
It’s full of flowers and heart-shaped boxes
and things we’re all too young to know
but I, I love it when you give me things
and you, you ought to give me wedding rings
I, I love it when you give me things
and you, you ought to give me wedding rings

THE MAGNETIC FIELDS – Take Ecstasy With Me

You used to slide down the carpeted stairs
or down the bannister
you stuttered like a kaleidoscope
’cause you knew too many words
you used to make ginger bread houses
we used to have taffy pulls

Take ecstasy with me, baby
take ecstasy with me.

You had a black snowmobile
we drove out under the northern lights
a vodka bottle gave you those raccoon eyes
we got beat up just for holding hands

Take ecstasy with me, baby
take ecstasy with me.

THE MAGNETIC FIELDS – Quick!

You better think of something quick before I don’t love you no more
Quick, before I walk out that door
Quick, before it all ends in jeers
What a waste of all those beers

You better think of something quick because my suitcase is packed
Quick, because I’m through being attacked
Are you really prepared to lose
All this just to air your views?

We’re on the brink of something

Get me a drink of something quick between your outrageous remarks
Like the mating calls of sarcastic sharks
Quick, before you can’t take that back
Just before it all goes black

You better think of something quick before the midnight bell chimes
You’re living in dangerous times
Torture me for your amusement
About who will pay the rent

Who will pay the rent
Who will pay the rent
Who will pay the rent
Who will pay the rent
Who will pay the rent

THE MAGNETIC FIELDS – Infatuation (With Your Gyration)

infatuation
with your gyration
that’s my fixation, I’m (infatuated with you)
infatuated with you (infatuated with)

thumping to the thumping
jumping to the pumping
leaping to the beeping thing on the dance floor

thumping to the pumping
pumping to the jumping
beeping to the leaping thing on the dance floor

infatuation
with your gyration
that’s my fixation, I’m (infatuated with you)
infatuated with you (infatuated with)

infatuation
with your gyration
that’s my fixation, I’m (infatuated with you)
infatuated with you (infatuated with)

thumping to the thumping
jumping to the pumping
leaping to the beeping thing on the dance floor

thumping to the pumping
pumping to the jumping
beeping to the leaping thing on the dance floor

infatuation
with your gyration
that’s my fixation, I’m (infatuated with you)
infatuated with you (infatuated with)

infatuation
with your gyration

THE MAGNETIC FIELDS – I Don’t Want To Get Over You

I don’t want to get over you
I guess I could take a sleeping pill
And sleep at will
And not have to go through
What I go through
I guess I should take Prozac, right?
And just smile all night
At somebody new
Somebody not too bright
But sweet and kind
Who would try to get you off my mind
I could leave this agony behind
Which is just what I’d do
If I wanted to
But I don’t want to get over you

‘Cause I don’t want to get over love
I could listen to my therapist
Pretend you don’t exist
And not have to dream of
What I dream of
I could listen to all my friends
And go out again
And pretend it’s enough
Or I could make a career of being blue
I could dress in black and read Camus
Smoke clove cigarettes and drink vermouth
Like I was seventeen
That would be a scream
But I don’t want to get over you

THE MAGNETIC FIELDS – I Don’t Like Your Tone

You sigh that I should try your love
I’ll never be alone
That you are true, you coo, my dove
But I don’t like your tone

You were, you murmur, further just a child
But now you’re grown
You hiss that this is bliss, God blessed
But I don’t like your tone

What’s with all this purring?
Are you a cat?
Why are we whispering?
Love’s not like that

When near I hear how clear you make
Your so called feelings known
It’s queer, my dear, I fear heartbreak
But I don’t like your tone

THE MAGNETIC FIELDS – I’d Go Anywhere With Hugh

I’d go anywhere with Hugh
Hugh’s the kind of boy I take to
mother of God, if he only knew
I’d go anywhere with Hugh

I’d do anything for him
sacre-bleu when the lights are dim
I’d entertain each and every whim
I’d do anything for him

I love Hugh
and Hugh loves you
you love me
and he does not

I don’t love you
you don’t love Hugh
what a sad gevalt

Hugh’d go anywhere with you
Hugh would take you to Timbukto
you would do anything for me
me, I’d go anywhere with Hugh
who’d do anything for you
who’d go anywhere with me
I’d do anything for Hugh
he would go anywhere with you

THE MAGNETIC FIELDS – I Can’t Touch You Anymore

you wanna know if we fell in love too fast
you wanna know if this is well too good to last
you’re asking the wrong questions
you’re opening the wrong doors
i love you, i can’t touch you anymore

i can’t touch you anymore, there’s so much to hate you for
i love you, i can’t touch you anymore

you wanna tell me 50 ways you’ve left your lovers
you wanna tell me how you’ve loved 200 others
you’re asking the wrong questions
you’re opening the wrong doors
i love you, i can’t touch you anymore

i can’t touch you anymore, there’s so much to hate you for
i love you, i can’t touch you anymore

THE MAGNETIC FIELDS – How Fucking Romantic

How fucking romantic
all the stars are out
twinkling twinkling twinkling
and fluttering about

what a tacky sunset
what a vulgar moon
play another charming
rogers and hart tune

how fucking romantic
must we really waltz?
drag another cliche
howling from the vaults

love you obviously
like you really care
even though you treat me
like a dancing bear

toss your bear a goldfish
as he cycles by
don’t forget to feed your
bear or it’ll die

THE MAGNETIC FIELDS – Goin’ Back To The Country

I’m going back to the country
City life’s too slow
I’m sick of that 120 BPM punk and disco
I’m doing a one-eighty
Break out the fiddle tunes
I’m still that fair folk lady howling up at the moons

And I’m gonna fly back to Wyoming
And never more my friends I’ll go a-roaming
I’m gonna fly back to Laramie
Let Laramie take care of me till they bury me

I’m going back to the country
The big city’s too small
I don’t need more than one tree house but there’s none at all
I’m hanging up the tire swing
A hammock in the yard
I’ll hear an angel choir sing as I wing countryward

And I’m gonna find me a country boy
And have a couple country kids, Leanne and Leroy
And we’re gonna wind down those country roads
And sing and play the dulcimer till this world explodes

THE MAGNETIC FIELDS – God Wants Us To Wait

I think I know what you would like us to do
When we have children let’s have 72
Until then we must be resigned to our fate
I love you, baby, but God wants us to wait

I guess it’s true I should have told you before
And not have waited ’til we’re nude on the floor
Though it would be the perfect end to our date
I love you, baby, but God wants us to wait

Now you might like to kiss the dew on my hem
But one male and female created He them
Our Lord intended us forever to mate
I love you, baby, but God wants us to wait

Despite my beauty and the scent of jasmine
Could you be happy in the knowledge of sin?
Although it may not be a crime in our state
I love you, baby, but God wants us to wait

How much more wonderful to anticipate
I love you, baby, but God wants us to wait

THE MAGNETIC FIELDS – California Girls

See them on their big bright screen
Tan and blonde and seventeen
Eating nonfood keeps them mean
But they’re young forever

If they must grow up
They marry dukes and earls
I hate California girls

They ain’t broke, so they put on airs
The faux folk sans derrieres
They breathe coke and they have affairs
With each passing rock star

They come on like squares
Then get off like squirrels
I hate California girls

Looking down their perfect noses at me and my kind
Do they think we won’t? Well, never mind
Laughing through their perfect teeth at everyone I know
Do they think we won’t get up and go? So…

I have planned my grand attacks
I will stand behind their backs
With my brand-new battle ax
Then will they taste my wrath

They will hear me say
As the pavement whirls
“I hate California girls”

They will hear me say
As the pavement whirls
“I hate California girls”

They will hear me say
As the pavement whirls
“I hate California girls”

They will hear me say
As the pavement whirls
“I hate California girls”

They will hear me say
As the pavement whirls
“I hate California girls”

They will hear me say
As the pavement whirls…

THE MAGNETIC FIELDS – Born For Love

Hey little cutie
I was born for love
Can’t count the chains I have worn for love
Killed three men and one unicorn for love
But I won’t mind if you just take me home

Hey little darling
I was made for love
Got down on my knees and I prayed for love
Crawled from Tamworth to Adelaide for love
But I won’t mind if you just take me home

I know you’ve been lonely and misunderstood
But I’m yours for the asking
For now or for good
If you want me to leave you just give a shove
But you won’t
Because I was born love

Hey little cutie
I was born for love
Can’t count the chains I have worn for love
Killed three men and one (een!) unicorn for love
But I won’t mind if you just take me home

The Magnetic Fields – Andrew In Drag

A pity she does not exist
A shame he’s not a fag
The only girl I ever loved was
Andrew in drag

There is no hope of love for me
From here on I’m a stag
The only girl I’ll ever love is
Andrew in drag

Andrew in drag
Andrew in drag
Andrew in drag
Yeah

I don’t know why I even went
It’s really not my bag
Just thought it might be funny to see
Andrew in drag

The moment he walked on the stage
My tail began to wag
Wag like a little wiener dog for
Andrew in drag

Andrew in drag
Andrew in drag
Andrew in drag
Yeah

I’ve always been a ladies’ man
And I don’t have to brag
But I become a momma’s boy for
Andrew in drag

I’d sign away my trust fund
I would even sell the Jag
If I could spend my misspent youth with
Andrew in drag

Andrew in drag
Andrew in drag
Andrew in drag
Yeah

So stick him in a dress and
He’s the only boy I’d shag
The only boy I’d anything is
Andrew in drag

I’ll never see that girl again
He did it as a gag
I’ll pine away forevermore for
Andrew in drag