STEPHEN LYNCH – Gerbil

I bought a gerbil from the petting zoo
If Richard Gere can do it I can too
I get undressed, start to lube
I stick the gerbil in the end of the tube

Wondering just how he’ll feel
Will he like it better than his little wheel
Careful now he’s right beside me
One more inch and he’s inside me

Go, gerbil go
Burrow harder, burrow deeper
Be my little chimney sweeper
One thing I forgot about
How am I supposed to get you out?

So now my Gerbils on easy street
It’s warm and cozy and there’s plenty to eat
The situation is beyone my control
Gotta find a way to get him out of his hole

I try crowbars, I try wires
I almost had him with a pair of pliers
I try cheese but he’s not biting
I wish this wasn’t so exciting

Go, gerbil go
Jesus I am such a sucker
Please get out you furry fucker
I think I am getting ill
Suddenly he’s very very still

Now it’s too late
My gerbil died
I guess I have commited gerbicide
Here’s some advice
It’s very clear cut
If you love your gerbil
Don’t stick him up your butt
Don’t stick him up your butt
Little furry gerbil in your booty hole
Don’t stick him up and you put him in the end and he won’t come out
Yeah