THE MIDNIGHT BEAST – Lez Be Friends

If a girl wont come round
(She must be a lesbian)
Or turns me down
(She must be a lesbian)
If she don’t like me
(She must be a lesbian)
I’ll let her down lightly
(You must be a lesbian)

I’m at a party, I’m a girl machine
I’m gonna have sex with them all, if you know what I mean
It’s like a sweet sixteen, but the girls are eighteen
And I can’t wait to peel em like a tangerine

I’m gonna g… go down on em like a submarine
Submarines are fun he he he he heee
I-I-I walk to a hottie and turn on my charm
But before I can start I hear a rape alarm

It’s going (woop woop)
I can’t feel my ears I think they’re bleeding
From the (woop woop)
I can’t work out why the girls are screaming

I’m the best looking boy in the world
Ohh wait I bet she likes kissing girls

I still hear the (woop woop)
Maybe if I let her she would (woop) me with a (woop woop)
I can’t work out why the girls don’t fancy me

I’m the best looking boy in sight,
No, hang on…
I bet you like boobies right?

If a girl wont come round
(She must be a lesbian)
Or turns me down
(She must be a lesbian)
If she don’t like me
(She must be a lesbian)
I’ll let her down lightly
(Ohh, You must be a lesbian)

If a girl wont kiss
(She’s taking a piss)
Or get down with this
(I can’t believe it)
If she doesn’t fancy me (wayoo)
She must bat for the other team
She’s a lesbian.

Take two, it’s my rapping debut
I’m having trouble trying to find a better girl to pursue
I’m like a fire truck
What? Full of muscly guys?
I meant a pun where I’d compare the hose to my own size
Ohh…

And then I see her, and I start feeling sick
I say my name is Pogo, you want to jump on my stick? (boing)
I woo her with my words, ask if I can poker face?
She doesn’t see the funny side and sprays my face with mace
It’s going
I can’t feel my eyes I think they’re bleeding
From the
I can’t work out why the girl is screaming

I’m the best looking boy in the world
Ohh wait, unless she likes kissing girls

I still feel the
Maybe she could me up my with a

I can’t work out why the girls don’t fancy me

I’m the best looking boy in sight,
Holy smokes, I bet she likes boobies right?

If a girl wont come round
(She must be a lesbian)
Or turns me down
(She must be a lesbian)
If she don’t like me
(She must be a lesbian)
I’ll let her down lightly
(She must be a lesbian!)

If a girl wont kiss
(She’s taking a piss)
Or get down with this
(I can’t believe it)
If she don’t give me the eye. (wayohh)
She must drive on the other side.
She’s a lesbian.

That girl must be a lesbian.
T-t-that girl must be a lesbian.
T-t-that girl must be a lesbian.
T-t-that girl must be a lesbian.
She’s a lesbian.

I-I-It’s your birthday!
You go girl. What’s your name!?
I like your… shoes.

We are two boys, and we’re looking for two girls.
They are two girls, let’s talk to the girls.
How are you?
What’s your name?
I tried to talk, but I just came, in my pants.
I am sad.
Chatting up to girls is really rad.

If a girl wont come round…
(She must be a lesbian)
Or turns me down…
(She must be a lesbian)
If she don’t like me…
(She must be a lesbian)
I’ll let her down lightly
(Uhh, you’re a lesbian.)

If a girl can act,
(She must be a thespian.)
Is that right? Yeah!
(She must be a thespian.)
If she doesn’t fancy me. (wayhoo)
She must bat for the other team.
She’s a lesbian.

That girl, she must be a lesbian.
(She’s a lesbian.)
That girl, she must be a lesbian.
(She’s a lesbian!)
That girl, she must be a lesbian.
(Lesbiannn.)
That girl, she must-
(Yeah!)
She’s a lesbian.

Les-les-lesbian.
She’s a. That girl she must be a lesbian.
She’s a lesbian.
Les-les-lesbian.
She’s a. That girl she must be a lesbian.
She’s a lesbian.