YOUR FAVORITE MARTIAN – Tig ‘Ol Bitties

It was the first day,
Back to school.
Cuttin up in class,
Actin like a tool.

Friends are rollin in,
We started talkin bout the summer.
DJ saw Twilight,
Bummer.

I spoke up,
And I asked my friends,
“Are there any new girls? Nines or tens?”
Hopin a few hotties,
Had moved from other cities,
And in walked this girl,
With Tig ‘Ol Bitties.

WHOO

I can’t believe my eyes.
In a contest they’d win first prize.
Double D, guarantee,
I was checkin the size,
It’s like two beach balls in a shirt disguise.

Or earth and mars,
Havin some fun.
Wait I take that back,
It’s like two of the sun.

But at this point i let my mind run,
And drifted off thinkin bout them Tig ‘Ol Bitties.

Hah, Tig ‘Ol Bitties.

Mount Fuji brought it’s twin.

Tig ‘Ol Bitties.

Two melons in a shirt.

Tig ‘Ol Bitties.
Tig ‘Ol Bitties.

I put books in my lap.

Tig ‘Ol Bitties.

Heads bobbin as she walks.

Tig ‘Ol Bitties.

Oh my god!

Tig ‘Ol Bitties.
Tig ‘Ol Bitties.
T-Tig ‘Ol Bitties.
T-Tig ‘Ol Bitties.
T-Tig ‘Ol Bitties.

Tig ‘Ol Bitties.
T-Tig ‘Ol Bitties.
T-Tig ‘Ol Bitties.
T-Tig ‘Ol Bitties.
Tig ‘Ol Bitties.

Kept trippin in class cuz of her dang breasts in a tiny white shirt,
Boobs havin a fiesta.
Later in lab,
We were messin with test tubes.
Couldn’t keep my eyes off the new girls chest.
BOOBS!

Wasn’t payin attention
Got busted,
Had to serve detention.

In biology,
We talkes about the bees.
The best kinda bees.
BOOB-BEES.

WHOO
Can’t believe my mind,
I hold a pokerface to her two of a kind.
With each step,
Her breasts gettin redefined,
I’m makin my move,
I’m thinkin it’s time.

OH SNAP.
Imma ask her to prom,
And in my head,
She responds “You’re the bomb”
Feelin nervous,
So i count to three.
“I like your boobs. Go to prom with me?”

Hah, Tig ‘Ol Bitties.

King kong boobs.

Tig ‘Ol Bitties.

Great tracks of land.

Tig ‘Ol Bitties.
Tig ‘Ol Bitties.

Like my balls.

Tig ‘Ol Bitties.

Real big.

Tig ‘Ol Bitties.

Oh my god!

Tig ‘Ol Bitties.
T-Tig ‘Ol Bitties.
T-Tig ‘Ol Bitties.
T-Tig ‘Ol Bitties.

Tig ‘Ol Bitties.
T-Tig ‘Ol Bitties.
T-Tig ‘Ol Bitties.
T-Tig ‘Ol Bitties.
Tig ‘Ol Bitties.

She said yes,
So I’m gettin ready.
Stain on my shirt.
Mom’s spaghetti.

I pick her up,
And I’m pretty sure,
That she’ll let me motor-boat like RRRRRRRR

I try to cop a feel once we get to school.
She said “No touching, that’s the rule.”

Principal walks up on the scene,
“It’s time to announce prom king and queen.
Your Favorite Martian and Tig ‘Ol Bitties.
Congratulations to you both on winning.”

Time slowed down and she jumped for joy,
When out of her dress jumped something more.

Tissues flew and rained from the sky.
OH MY GOD YOU STUFF YOUR SHIRT!?
Your Favorite Martian in a world of hurt.

Awwww. Fake ‘Ol Bitties..

WOW!
Fake ‘Ol Bitties.
You breakin my heart with,
Fake ‘Ol Bitties.
You’re crushin my dreams with,
Fake ‘Ol Bitties.
I can’t believable it,
Fake ‘Ol Bitties.
You really suck,
Fake ‘Ol Bitties.
I can’t believe you would do that,
Fake ‘Ol Bitties.