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A Little Night Music - Soon

Soon, I promise,
Soon, I won't shy away,
Dear old--
Soon, I want to.
Soon, whatever you say.
Even now,
When you're close and we touch,
And you're kissing my brow,
I don't mind it too much.
And you'll have to admit I'm endearing,
I help keep things humming, I'm not domineering--
What's one small shortcoming?
And think of how I adore you,
Think of how much you love me.
If I were perfect for you,
Wouldn't you tire of me
Soon,
All too soon,
Dear old--

A Little Night Music - The Glamourous Life

[FREDRIKA]

Ordinary mothers lead ordinary lives,
Keep the house and sweep the parlor,
Cook the meals and look exhausted.
Ordinary mothers, like ordinary wives,
Fry the eggs and dry the sheets
And try to deal with facts--
Mine acts!

[DESIREE]

Darling, I miss you a lot,
But, darling, this has to be short,
As mother is getting a plaque
From the Halsingborg Arts Council Amateur Theatre Group.
Whether it's funny or not,
I'll give you a fuller report
The minute they carry me back
From the Halsingborg Arts Council Amateur Theatre Group.
Love you.

[QUINTET]

Unpack the luggage, la la la,
Pack up the luggage, la la la,
Unpack the luggage, la la la,
Hi-ho, the glamorous life!

[MR. SEGSTROM]

Ice in the basin, la la la,

[MR. ERLANSEN]

Cracks in the plaster, la la la,

[MRS. ANDERSSEN]

Mice in the hallway, la la la,

[QUINTET]

Hi-ho, the glamorous life!
Run for the carriage, la la la,
Wolf down the sandwich, la la la,
Which town is this one, la la la,
Hi-ho, the glamorous life!

[MADAME ARMFELDT:]

Ordinary daughters ameliorate their lot,
Use their charms and choose their futures,
Breed their children, heed their mothers.
Ordinary daughters, which mine, I fear, is not,
Tend each asset, spend it wisely
While it still endures--
Mine tours!

[DESIREE]

Mother, forgive the delay.
My schedule is driving me wild.
But, mother, I really must run--
I'm performing in Rottwig, and don't ask "where is it,"
Please...
How are you feeling today?
And are you corrupting the child?
Don't.
Mother, the minute I'm done
With performing in Rottwig,
I'll come for a visit
And argue.

[QUINTET]

Mayors with speeches, la la la,
Children with posies, la la la,
Half-empty houses, la la la,
Hi-ho, the glamorous life!

[MRS. NORDSTROM]

Cultural lunches,

[QUINTET]

La la la,

[MRS. ANDERSSEN]

Dead floral tributes,

[QUINTET]

La la la,

[MR. LINDQUIST]

Ancient admirers,

[QUINTET]

La la la,
Hi-ho, the glamorous life.

[DESIREE]

Pack up the luggage, la la la,
Unpack the luggage, la la la,
Mother's surviving, la la la,
Leading the glamorous life.
Cracks in the plaster, la la la,
Youngish admirers, la la la,
Which one was that one, la la la,
Hi-ho, the glamorous life.

[DESIREE AND QUINTET]

Bring up the curtain, la la la,
Bring down the curtain, la la la,
Bring up the curtain, la la la,
Hi-ho, the glamorous...

[DESIREE]

Life!

A Little Night Music - You Must Meet My Wife

[FREDRIK]

She lightens my sadness,
She livens my days,
She bursts with a kind of madness
My well-ordered ways.
My happiest mistake, the ache of my life:
You must meet my wife.
She bubbles with pleasure,
She glows with surprise,
Disrupts my accustomed leisure
And ruffles my ties.
I don't know even now quite how it began.
You must meet my wife, my Anne.
One thousand whims to which I give in,
Since her smallest tear turns me ashen.
I never dreamed that I could live in
So completely demented, contented a fashion.
So sunlike, so winning,
So unlike a wife.
I do think that I'm beginning
To show signs of life.
Don't ask me how at my age one still can grow--
If you met my wife, you'd know.

[DESIREE (speaking):]

Dear Fredrik,
I'm just longing to meet her.
Sometime.

[FREDRIK]

She sparkles...

[DESIREE]

How pleasant.

[FREDRIK]

She twinkles...

[DESIREE]

How nice.

[FREDRIK]

Her youth is a sort of present--

[DESIREE]

Whatever the price.

[FREDRIK]

The incandescent--what?--the--

[DESIREE (offering a cigarette):]

Light?

[FREDRIK]

--of my life.
You must meet my wife.

[DESIREE]

Yes, I must. I really must.
Now--

[FREDRIK]

She flutters.

[DESIREE]

How charming.

[FREDRIK]

She twitters.

[DESIREE]

My word!

[FREDRIK]

She floats.

[DESIREE]

Isn't that alarming?
What is she, a bird?

[FREDRIK]

She makes me feel I'm--what?--

[DESIREE]

A very old man.

[FREDRIK]

Yes--no!

[DESIREE]

No?

[FREDRIK]

But--

[DESIREE]

I must meet your Gertrude.

[FREDRIK]

My Anne.

[DESIREE]

Sorry--Anne.

[FREDRIK]

She loves my voice, my walk, my mustache,
The cigar, in fact, that I'm smoking.
She'll watch me puff until it's just ash,
Then she'll save the cigar butt.

[DESIREE]

Bizarre, but
You're joking.

[FREDRIK]

She dotes on--

[DESIREE]

Your dimple.

[FREDRIK]

My snoring.

[DESIREE]

How dear.

[FREDRIK]

The point is, she's really simple.

[DESIREE]

Yes, that much seems clear.

[FREDRIK]

She gives me funny names--

[DESIREE]

Like?

[FREDRIK]

"Old Dry-as-Dust."

[DESIREE]

Wouldn't she just?

[FREDRIK]

You must meet my wife.

[DESIREE]

Yes, I must, yes, I must.

[FREDRIK]

A sea of whims that I submerge in,
Yet so loveable in repentance.
Unfortunately still a virgin,
But you can't force a flower--

[DESIREE]

Don't finish that sentence!
She's monstrous!

[FREDRIK]

She's frightened.

[DESIREE]

Unfeeling!

[FREDRIK]

Unversed.
She'd strike you as unenlightened--

[DESIREE]

No, I'd strike her first.

[FREDRIK]

Her reticence, her apprehension--

[DESIREE]

Her crust!

[FREDRIK]

No!

[DESIREE]

Yes!

[FREDRIK]

No!

[DESIREE]

Fredrik!

[FREDRIK]

You must meet my wife.

[DESIREE]

Let me get my hat and my knife!

[FREDRIK]

What was that?

[DESIREE]

I must meet your wife.

[FREDRIK AND DESIREE]

Yes, you must.
Yes, I must.

A Little Night Music - Remember?

[MR. LINDQUIST]

Remember?

[MRS. NORDSTROM]

Remember?
The old deserted beach that we walked--
Remember?

[MR. LINDQUIST]

Remember?
The cafe in the park where we talked--
Remember?

[MRS. NORDSTROM]

Remember?

[MR. LINDQUIST]

The tenor on the boat that we chartered,
Belching "The Bartered Bride"--

[BOTH]

Ah, how we laughed!
Ah, how we cried!

[MR. LINDQUIST]

Ah, how you promised, and ah, how I lied.

[MRS. NORDSTROM]

That dilapidated in--
Remember, darling?

[MR. LINDQUIST]

The proprietess's grin,
Also her glare.

[MRS. NORDSTROM]

Yellow gingham on the bed--
Remember, darling?

[MR. LINDQUIST]

And the canopy in red,
Needing repair.

[BOTH]

I think you were there.

[MRS. NORDSTROM]

The local village dance on the green--
Remember?

[MR. LINDQUIST]

Remember?
The lady with the large tambourine--
Remember?

[MRS. NORDSTROM]

The one who played the harp in her boa
Thought she was so adept.

[BOTH]

Ah, how we laughed!
Ah, how we wept!
Ah, how we polka'd--

[MRS. NORDSTROM]

And ah, how we slept!
How we kissed and how we clung--
Remember, darling?

[MR. LINDQUIST]

We were foolish, we were young--

[BOTH]

More than we knew.

[MRS. NORDSTROM]

Yellow gingham on the bed,
Remember, darling?
And the canopy in red--

[MR. LINDQUIST]

Or was it blue?

[MRS. SEGSTROM]

The funny little games that we played--
Remember?

[MR. ERLANSEN]

Remember?
The unexpected knock of the maid--
Remember?

[MRS. ANDERSSEN]

Remember?
The wine that made us both rather merry
And oh so very frank--

[ALL]

Ah, how we laughed!
Ah, how we drank!

[MR. ERLANSEN]

You acquiesced--

[MRS. ANDERSSEN]

And the rest
Is a blank.

[MR. LINDQUIST]

What we did with your perfume--

[MR. ERLANSEN]

Remember, darling?

[MRS. SEGSTROM]

The condition of the room
When we were through...

[MRS. NORDSTROM]

Our inventions were unique--
Remember, darling?

[MR. LINDQUIST]

I was limping for a week,
You caught the flu.

[ALL]

I'm sure it was...you.

A Little Night Music - Send in the Clowns

Isn't it rich?
Are we a pair?
Me here at last on the ground,
You in mid-air.
Send in the clowns.

Isn't it bliss?
Don't you approve?
One who keeps tearing around,
One who can't move.
Where are the clowns?
Send in the clowns.

Just when I'd stopped opening doors,
Finally knowing the one that I wanted was yours,
Making my entrance again with my usual flair,
Sure of my lines,
No one is there.

Don't you love farce?
My fault I fear.
I thought that you'd want what I want.
Sorry, my dear.
But where are the clowns?
Quick, send in the clowns.
Don't bother, they're here.

Isn't it rich?
Isn't it queer,
Losing my timing this late
In my career?
And where are the clowns?
There ought to be clowns.
Well, maybe next year.

A Little Night Music - Liaisons

At the villa of the Baron De Signac,
Where I spent a somewhat infamous year,
At the villa of the Baron De Signac
I had ladies in attendance,
Fire-opal pendants...
Liaisons!
What's happened to them?
Liaisons today.
Disgraceful!
What's become of them?
Some of them
Hardly pay their shoddy way.
What once was a rare champagne
Is now just an amiable hock,
What once was a villa, at least,
Is "digs."
What once was a gown with train
Is now just a simple little frock,
What once was a sumptuous feast
Is figs.
No--not even figs--raisins!
Ah, liaisons!
Now, where was I?
Where was I?
Oh, yes...
At the palace of the Duke of Ferrara,
Who was prematurely deaf but a dear,
At the palace of the Duke of Ferrara
I acquired some position
Plus a tiny Titian...
Liaisons!
What's happened to them?
Liaisons today.
To see them--indiscriminate
Women, it
Pains me more than I can say,
The lack of taste that they display!
Where is style?
Where is skill?
Where is forethought?
Where's discretion of the heart?
Where's passion in the art?
Where's craft?
With a smile
And a will
But with more thought,
I acquired a chateau
Extravagantly o-
Verstaffed.
Too many people muddle sex
With mere desire,
And when emotion intervenes
The nets descend.
It should on no account perplex,
Or worse, inspire;
It's but a pleasurable means
To a measurable end.
Why does no one comprehend?
Let us hope this lunacy's just a trend.
Now where was I?
Where was I?
Oh, yes...
In the castle of the King of the Belgians,
(We would visit through a false chiffonier)
In the castle of the King of the Belgians
Who, when things got rather touchy,
Deeded me a duchy...
Liaisons!
What's happened to them?
Liaisons today.
Untidy!
Take my daughter, I
Taught her, I
Tried my best to point the way.
I even named her
Desiree.
In a world where the kings are employers,
Where the amateur prevails
And delicacy fails
To pay,
In a world where the princes are lawyers,
What can anyone expect
Except to recollect Lia....
[She falls asleep.]

A Little Night Music - Now / Later / Soon

Soon,
Later...
Now, I promise.
When is later?
As the sweet imbecilities
Soon,
All you ever hear is
Trip on my trouser leg, I won't shy away,
"Yes, we know, Henrik, Stendhal elimanates
A... Oh, Henrik,
Dear old--
Everyone agrees, Henrik, please, Henrik..."
Soon,
As I've I want to.
Often stated,
Soon,
Whatever you say.
When? But when?
Even now,
Maybe
Maybe
When you're close
Soon, soon,
Later,
And we touch, I'll be ninety
When I'm kissing your brow
And you're kissing
And dead.
My brow
And I'm stroking your head, I don't mind it
I don't mind it
Too much.
Too much.
You'll come into my bed.
And you'll have to
Since I have to
And you have to
Admit
Admit
Admit I'm endearing, I find peering
I've been hearing
I help
Through life's
All those tremulous cries,
Keep things humming,
Grey windows
Impatiently
Patiently
I'm not
Not
Not Domineering--
Very cheering.
Interfering
What's one
Do I fear death?
With those tremulous thighs.
Small shortcoming?
Let it come to me
Come to me
And think of
Now,
Soon,
How I adore you,
Think of
Now,
Soon,
How much you love me.
If I were perfect
Now,
Soon,
For you,
Wouldn't you
Now...
Soon...
Tire of me
Later?
Come to me soon,
Come to me soon,
We will,
If I'm dead
Straight to me,
Later.
I can wait.
Never mind how.
We will,
How can I live
Darling, now--
Soon...
Until later?
I still want and/or
Later...
Love you,
Soon...
Later...
Now as always,
Now... Desiree!

A Little Night Music - Every Day a Little Death

CHARLOTTE:
Every day a little death
In the parlor, in the bed
In the curtians, in the silver
In the buttons, in the bread
Every day a little sting
In the heart and in the head
Every move and every breath
And you hardly feel a thing
Brings a perfect little death

He smiles sweetly
Strokes my hair
Says he misses me
I would murder him right there
But first I die
He talks softly of his wars
And his horses
And his whores
I think loves a dirty buissness

ANNE:
So do I
So do I

CHARLOTTE:
I'm before him on my knees
And he kisses me
He assumes I'll loose my reason
And I do
Men are stupid
Men are vain
Love's disgusting
Love's insane
A humiliating business

ANNE:
Oh how true

CHARLOTTE
Ah well
Everyday a little death

ANNE:
Every day a little death

CHARLOTTE:
In the parlor, in the bed

ANNE:
In the looks and in the acts

CHARLOTTE:
In the curtains, in the silver
In the buttons, in the bread

ANNE:
In the murmurs, in the gestures
In the pauses, in the sighs

CHARLOTTE:
Every day a little sting

ANNE:
Every day a little dies

CHARLOTTE:
In the heart and in the head

ANNE:
In the looks and in the lies

CHARLOTTE&ANNE:
Every move and every breath
And you hardly feel a thing
Brings a perfect little...
Death

A Little Night Music - In Praise of Women

[CARL-MAGNUS]

She wouldn't...therefore they didn't...
So then it wasn't...not unless it...would she?
She doesn't...
God knows she needn't...therefore it's not.
He'd never...therefore they haven't...
Which makes the question absolutely...could she?
She daren't...therefore I mustn't...what utter rot!
Fidelity is more than mere display;
It's what a man expects from life.
Fidelity like mine to
Desiree
And Charlotte, my devoted wife.
The papers...he mentioned papers,
Some legal papers which I didn't see there.
Where were they, the goddamn papers she had to sign?
What nonsense!
He brought her papers,
They were important, so he had to be there.
I'll kill him!...
Why should I bother?
The woman's mine!
Besides, no matter what one might infer,
One must have faith to some degree.
The least that I can do is trust in her
The way that Charlotte trusts in me.
Capable, pliable
Women, women...
Understanding and reliable,
Knowing their place.
Insufferable, yes, but gentle,
Their weaknesses are incidental.
A functional but ornamental
Race.
Durable, sensible
Women, women...
Very nearly indispensable
Creatures of grace.
God knows the foolishness about them,
But if one had to live without them,
The world would surely be a poorer,
If purer,
Place.
The hip-bath...about that hip-bath...
How can you slip and trip into a hip-bath?
The papers...where were the papers?
Of course, he might have taken back the papers.
She wouldn't...therefore they didn't...
The woman's mine!

A Little Night Music - Later

[HENRIK]

Later...
When is later?
All you ever hear is "Later, Henrik, Henrik, later."
"Yes, we know, Henrik,
Oh, Henrik, Everyone agrees, Henrik, Please, Henrik!"
You have a thought you're fairly bursting with,
A personal discovery or problem, and it's:
"What's your rush, Henrik?
Shush, Henrik!
Goodness, how you gush, Henrik!
Hush, Henrik!"
You murmur:
"I only-- It's just that--"
"For God's sake, later, Henrik!"
"Henrik... Who is Henrik?
Oh, that lawyer's son, the one who mumbles.
Short and boring,
Yes, he's hardly worth ignoring,
And who cares if he's all dammed--"
I beg your pardon--
"Up inside?"
As I've often stated,
It's intolerable being tolerated.
"Reassure Henrik, Poor Henrik. Henrik, you'll endure
Being pure, Henrik."
Though I've been born, I've never been!
How can I wait around for later?
I'll be ninety on my deathbead
And the late, or, rather, later, Henrik Egerman.
Doesn't anything begin?

A Little Night Music - Now

Now, as the sweet imbecilities
Tumble so lavishly
Onto her lap,
Now, there are two possibilities:
A, I could ravish her,
B, I could nap.
Say It's the ravishment, then we see
The option
That follows, of course:
A, The deployment of charm, or
B, The adoption
Of physical force.
Now, B might arouse her,
But if I assume I trip on my trouser
Leg crossing the room...
Her hair getting tangled,
Her stays getting snapped,
My nerves would be jangled,
My energy sapped...
Removing her clothing
Would take me all day,
And her subsequent loathing
Would turn me away,
Which eliminates B
And which leaves us with A.
Now, insofar as approaching it,
What would be festive
But have its effect?
Now, there are two ways of broaching it:
A, the suggestive,
And B, the direct.
Say that I settle on B, to wit,
A charmingly Lecherous mood,
A, I could put on my nightshirt or sit
Disarmingly, B, in the nude.
That might be effective;
My body's all right--
But not in perspective
And not in the light.
I'm bound to be chilly
And feel a buffoon,
But nightshirts are silly
In mid-afternoon.
Which leaves the suggestive,
But how to proceed?
Although she gets restive,
Perhaps I could read.
In view of her penchant
For something romantic,
De Sade is to trenchant
And Dickens too frantic,
And Stendhal would ruin
The plan of attack,
As there isn't much blue in "The Red and the Black."
De Maupassant's candour
Would cause her dismay,
The Brontes are grander
But not very gay,
Her taste is much blander,
I'm sorry to say,
But is Hans Christian Ander-
Sen ever risque?
Which eliminates A...
Now, with my mental facilities
Partially muddied
And ready to snap,
Now, though there are possibilities
Still to be studied, I might as well nap.
Bow
Though I must
To adjust
My original plan,
How
Shall
I sleep
Half as deep
As I usually can,
When now I still want and/or love you,
Now as always,
Now, Anne?

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