WARREN ZEVON – Werewolves Of London

I saw a werewolf with a Chinese menu in his hand
Walking through the streets of Soho in the rain
He was looking for the place called Lee Ho Fook’s
Going to get a big dish of beef chow mein
Werewolves of London

If you hear him howling around your kitchen door
Better not let him in
Little old lady got mutilated late last night
Werewolves of London again
Werewolves of London

He’s the hairy handed gent who ran amuck in Kent
Lately he’s been overheard in Mayfair
Better stay away from him
He’ll rip your lungs out, Jim
I’d like to meet his tailor
Werewolves of London

Well, I saw Lon Chaney walking with the Queen
Doing the werewolves of London
I saw Lon Chaney, Jr. walking with the Queen
Doing the werewolves of London
I saw a werewolf drinking a pina colada at Trader Vic’s
His hair was perfect
Werewolves of London again
Draw blood

WARREN ZEVON – Veracruz

I heard Woodrow Wilson’s guns
I heard Maria crying
Late last night I heard the news
That Veracruz was dying
Veracruz was dying

Someone called Maria’s name
I swear it was my father’s voice
Saying, “If you stay you’ll all be slain
You must leave now – you have no choice
Take the servants and ride west
Keep the child close to your chest
When the American troops withdraw
Let Zapata take the rest”

I heard Woodrow Wilson’s guns
I heard Maria calling
Saying, “Veracruz is dying
And Cuernavaca’s falling”

Aquel dia yo jure (On that day I swore)
Hacia el puerto volvere (To the port I will return)
Aunque el destino cambio mi vida (Even though destiny changed my life)
En Veracruz morire (In Veracruz I shall die)
Aquel dia yo jure (On that day I swore)

I heard Woodrow Wilson’s guns
I heard them in the harbor
Saying, “Veracruz is dying”

WARREN ZEVON – Trouble Waiting To Happen

I woke up this morning and fell out of bed
Trouble waiting to happen
Should’ve quit while I was ahead
Trouble waiting to happen
I turned on the news to the Third World War
Opened up the paper to World War IV
Just when I thought it was safe to be bored
Trouble waiting to happen
Trouble waiting to happen

The mailman brought me the Rolling Stone
Trouble waiting to happen
It said I was living at home alone
Trouble waiting to happen
I read things I didn’t know I’d done
It sounded like alot of fun
I guess I’ve been bad or something
Trouble waiting to happen
Trouble waiting to happen

Trouble waiting to happen
Teardrops ready to start
Trouble waiting to happen to my heart

This just ain’t gonna be my day
Trouble waiting to happen
Things just ain’t gonna go my way
Trouble waiting to happen
My day was over by a quarter to ten
I climbed right back into bed again
I’d write this down if I could hold a pen
I might get better but I don’t know when
So I’m gonna wait right here ’til then
Trouble waiting to happen
Trouble waiting to happen

Trouble waiting to happen
Teardrops ready to fall
Trouble waiting to happen to us all

WARREN ZEVON – The Indifference Of Heaven

Time marches on
Time stands still
Time on my hands
Time to kill
Blood on my hands
And my hands in the till
Down at the 7-11
Gentle rain
Falls on me
All life folds back
Into the sea
We contemplate eternity
Beneath the vast indifference of heaven

The past seems realer than the present to me now
I’ve got memories to last me
When the sky is gray
The way it is today
I remember the times when I was happy

Same old sun
Same old moon
It’s the same old story
Same old tune
They all say
Someday soon
My sins will all be forgiven
Gentle rain
Falls on me
All life folds back
Into the sea
We contemplate eternity
Beneath the vast indifference of heaven

They say “Everything’s all right”
They say “Better days are near”
They tell us “These are the good times”
But they don’t live around here
Billy and Christie don’t–
Bruce and Patti don’t–
They don’t live around here

I had a girl
Now she’s gone
She left town
Town burned down
Nothing left
But the sound
Of the front door closing forever

Gentle rain
Falls on me
All life folds back
Into the sea
We contemplate eternity
Beneath the vast indifference of heaven

WARREN ZEVON – The French Inhaler

How’re you going to make your way in the world
When you weren’t cut out for working
When your fingers are slender and frail
How’re you going to get around
In this sleazy bedroom town
If you don’t put yourself up for sale

Where will you go with your scarves and your miracles
Who’s gonna know who you are
Drugs and wine and flattering light
You must try it again till you get it right
Maybe you’ll end up with someone different every night

All these people with no home to go home to
They’d all like to spend the night with you
Maybe I would, too

But tell me
How’re you going to make your way in the world, woman
When you weren’t cut out for working
And you just can’t concentrate
And you always show up late

You said you were an actress
Yes, I believe you are
I thought you’d be a star
So I drank up all the money,
Yes, I drank up all the money,
With these phonies in this Hollywood bar,
These friends of mine in this Hollywood bar

Loneliness and frustration
We both came down with an acute case
And when the lights came up at two
I caught a glimpse of you
And your face looked like something
Death brought with him in his suitcase

Your pretty face
It looked so wasted
Another pretty face
Devastated
The French Inhaler
He stamped and mailed her
“So long, Norman”
She said, “So long, Norman”

WARREN ZEVON – Seminole Bingo

I’m a junk bond king
And I’m on the run
Me and a friend of mine
We were headed for the sunshine

I got my hands on the wheel
I got gas in the tank
I got a suitcase full of money
From a Luxembourg bank

We didn’t stop ’til we got to Big Cypress
Wandered in to the Legion Hall
The sign outside said “Seminole Bingo”
Fell in love with the ping pong balls

And the SEC is far behind
Down in the swamp with the gators and flamingos
A long way from Liechtenstein
I’m a junk bond king playing Seminole Bingo

And my Wall Street wiles
Don’t help me even slightly
‘Cause I never have the numbers
And I’m losing nightly

I cashed in the last of my Triple B bonds
Bought a double-wide on the Tamiami Trail
I parked it right outside the reservation
Fifteen minutes from the Collier County Jail

And the SEC is far behind
Down in the swamp with the gators and flamingos
A long way from Liechtenstein
I’m a junk bond king playing Seminole Bingo

Well, the SEC is far behind
Down in the swamp with the gators and flamingos
A long way from Liechtenstein
I’m a junk bond king playing Seminole Bingo

WARREN ZEVON – Searching For A Heart

Darkness in the morning
Shadows on the land
Certain individuals
Aren’t sticking with the plan

And I’m searching for a heart
Searching everyone
They say love conquers all
You can’t start it like a car
You can’t stop it with a gun

Leaving in the evening
Traveling at night
Staying inconspicuous
I’m staying out of sight

And I’m searching for a heart
Searching everyone
They say love conquers all
You can’t start it like a car
You can’t stop it with a gun

They tell me love requires a little standing in line
And I’ve been waiting for you, lover, for a long, long time
I’ve been pacing the floor
I’ve been watching the door
Meanwhile I’ll keep searching for a heart

Searching high and low for you
Trying to track you down
Certain individuals
Have finally come around

And I’m searching for a heart
Searching everyone
They say love conquers all
You can’t start it like a car
You can’t stop it with a gun

They tell me love requires a little standing in line
And I’ve been waiting for you, lover, for a long, long time
I’ve been pacing the floor I’ve been watching the door
Meanwhile I’ll keep searching for a heart
Searching everyone
They say love conquers all
You can’t start it like a car

WARREN ZEVON – Sacrificial Lambs

We’re having a party
We’re burning it down
We’re building an idol
He’s sad but he don’t frown
He’s the cream of the crop
So we’re making him god
Start writing this down
When I give you the nod

Them Coptic monks
Knew how to keep it real
That Rosicrucian thing
That Zoroastrian deal
Well, they might be wrong
They don’t give a damn
Long as they don’t run out
Of sacrificial lambs

Eat my dust
And I’ll clean your clock
Eat my dust
And we’ll reel and rock
Eat my dust
And I’ll be your man
You can be my
Sacrificial lamb

Madame Blavansky
And her friends
Changed lead into gold
And back again
Krishnamurti said,
“I’ll set you free
Write a check
and make it out to me”

Take a look
At my family tree
Every brother and sister
Wants something for free
You get what pay for
From me, my friend
Nothing for nothing
Forever, amen

Eat my dust
You can touch my stole
Eat my dust
And we’ll rock and roll
Eat my dust
And I’ll be your man
You can be my
Sacrificial lamb

Smokey and the Bandit
And Saddam Hussein
Were staying up late
And acting insane
Along with Russell Crowe
And Hafez Assad
Start taking this down
When I give you the nod

The boys are all ready
They’ve laid out the plans
They’re setting the stage
For the man-made man
We’ve worked out the kinks
In your DNA
So sayonara, kid
Have a nice day

Eat my dust
And I’ll clean your clock
Eat my dust
And we’ll reel and rock
Eat my dust
And I’ll be your man
You can be my
Sacrificial lamb

WARREN ZEVON – Rottweiler Blues

Got a Glock in the bedside table
Machine gun leaning by the bedroom door
Kevlar vest in the closet
Well, I wear it when I go to the store

Shadows on the window
Rustling in the hedge
Faces at the peephole
Footsteps on the ledge

If you come calling
He’ll be mauling with intent to maim
Don’t knock on my door
If you don’t know my Rottweiler’s name

Halogen lights in the driveway
Guardian Angels living next door
One hundred pounds of unfriendly persuasion
Sleeping on the Florida porch

Slackers in the market
Bangers in the mall
Skinheads on the golf course
Hunting for their balls

If you come calling
He’ll be mauling with intent to maim
Don’t knock on my door
If you don’t know my Rottweiler’s name

Well, he’s dreaming about an intruder or two
And the promise of burglar blood
He’s yearning to chew on a gangster tattoo
And to hear the proverbial sickening thud

Shadows on the window
Rustling in the hedge
Faces at the peephole
Footsteps on the ledge

If you come calling
He’ll be mauling with intent to maim
Don’t knock on my door
If you don’t know my Rottweiler’s name

WARREN ZEVON – Roland The Headless Thompson Gunner

Roland was a warrior from the Land of the Midnight Sun
With a Thompson gun for hire, fighting to be done
The deal was made in Denmark on a dark and stormy day
So he set out for Biafra to join the bloody fray

Through sixty-six and seven they fought the Congo war
With their fingers on their triggers, knee-deep in gore
For days and nights they battled the Bantu to their knees
They killed to earn their living and to help out the Congolese

Roland the Thompson gunner…

His comrades fought beside him – Van Owen and the rest
But of all the Thompson gunners, Roland was the best
So the CIA decided they wanted Roland dead
That son-of-a-bitch Van Owen blew off Roland’s head

Roland the headless Thompson gunner
Norway’s bravest son
Time, time, time
For another peaceful war
But time stands still for Roland
‘Til he evens up the score
They can still see his headless body stalking through the night
In the muzzle flash of Roland’s Thompson gun
In the muzzle flash of Roland’s Thompson gun

Roland searched the continent for the man who’d done him in
He found him in Mombassa in a barroom drinking gin
Roland aimed his Thompson gun – he didn’t say a word
But he blew Van Owen’s body from there to Johannesburg

Roland the headless Thompson gunner…
The eternal Thompson gunner
still wandering through the night
Now it’s ten years later but he still keeps up the fight
In Ireland, in Lebanon, in Palestine and Berkeley
Patty Hearst heard the burst of Roland’s Thompson gun and bought it

WARREN ZEVON – Quite Ugly One Morning

Don’t the sky look funny
Don’t it look kinda chewed-on like
Don’t you feel like running
Don’t you feel like running from the dawn’s early light

Quite ugly one morning
We all said goodnight
It came without a warning
Just a flash of light

Don’t you feel kind of funny
Don’t you feel kind of funny inside
When you feel like laughing
And everybody tells you you ought to be crying

Quite ugly one morning
We all said goodnight
It came without a warning
But it was quite all right
Quite ugly one morning
We all said goodnight
It came without a warning
But it was quite all right

From dawn to sundown
It’s a long, long way
And it’s a hollow triumph
When you make it to the bottom of another day
There’s a fever rising
When the evening comes
And when the battle’s over
There’ll be nothing left but the sound of drums

Quite ugly one morning
We all said goodnight
It came without a warning
Just a flash of light

Quite ugly one morning
We all said goodnight
It came without a warning
But it was quite all right

WARREN ZEVON – Poor, Poor Pitiful Me

I’d lay my head on the railroad tracks
And wait for the Double “E”
But the railroad don’t run no more
Poor, poor pitiful me

Poor, poor pitiful me
Poor, poor pitiful me
These young girls won’t let me be
Lord have mercy on me
Woe is me

Well, I met a girl in West Hollywood
I ain’t naming names
She really worked me over good
She was just like Jesse James
She really worked me over good
She was a credit to her gender
She put me through some changes, Lord
Sort of like a Waring blender

Poor, poor pitiful me
Poor, poor pitiful me
These young girls won’t let me be
Lord have mercy on me
Woe is me

Well, I met a girl at the Rainbow bar
She asked me if I’d beat her
She took me back to the Hyatt House
I don’t want to talk about it

Poor, poor pitiful me
Poor, poor pitiful me
These young girls won’t let me be
Lord have mercy on me
Woe is me

(Well, I met a girl from the Vieux Carre`
Down in Yokahama
She picked me up and she throwed me down
I said, “Please don’t hurt me, Mama”)

WARREN ZEVON – Poisonous Lookalike

I was getting used to you
You went and changed your tune
Now you’ve got me so confused
I can’t tell the salt from the wound

Didn’t they always used to say
A man ain’t supposed to cry
I defy you to look me in the eye
And tell me you’re a friend of mine

Poisonous lookalike
You’re not my girl
Poisonous lookalike
What have you done with her?
Poisonous lookalike
You’re not my girl
Poisonous lookalike
What have you done with her?

Now it seems to me you’re acting strange
You treat me like a criminal
You keep telling me
I’ll have to change
Baby, that would take a miracle

Didn’t they always used to say
A man ain’t supposed to cry
I defy you to look me in the eye
And tell me you’re a friend of mine

Poisonous lookalike
You’re not my girl
Poisonous lookalike
What have you done with her?
Poisonous lookalike
You’re not my girl
Poisonous lookalike
What have you done with her?

Poisonous lookalike
Little Miss Gun-to-a-Knife fight
Poisonous lookalike
What’re you trying to do?
Poisonous lookalike
Do you feel all right all right?
Poisonous lookalike
What’s wrong with you?

Poisonous lookalike
You’re not my girl
Poisonous lookalike
What have you done with her?
Poisonous lookalike
You’re not my girl
Poisonous lookalike
What have you done with her?

WARREN ZEVON – Play It All Night Long

Grandpa pissed his pants again
He don’t give a damn
Brother Billy has both guns drawn
He ain’t been right since Vietnam

“Sweet home Alabama”
Play that dead band’s song
Turn those speakers up full blast
Play it all night long

Daddy’s doing Sister Sally
Grandma’s dying of cancer now
The cattle all have brucellosis
We’ll get through somehow

“Sweet home Alabama”
Play that dead band’s song
Turn those speakers up full blast
Play it all night long

I’m going down to the Dew Drop Inn
See if I can drink enough
There ain’t much to country living
Sweat, piss, jizz and blood

“Sweet home Alabama”
Play that dead band’s song
Turn those speakers up full blast
Play it all night long

WARREN ZEVON – Mutineer

Yo ho ho and a bottle of rum
Hoist the mainsail – here I come
Ain’t no room on board for the insincere
You’re my witness
I’m your mutineer

I was born to rock the boat
Some may sink but we will float
Grab your coat – let’s get out of here
You’re my witness
I’m your mutineer

Long ago we laughed at shadows
Lightning flashed and thunder followed us
It could never find us here
You’re my witness
I’m your mutineer

Long ago we laughed at shadows
Lightning flashed and thunder followed us
It could never find us here
You’re my witness
I’m your mutineer

I was born to rock the boat
Some may sink but we will float
Grab your coat – let’s get out of here
You’re my witness
I’m your mutineer
You’re my witness
I’m your mutineer
I’m your mutineer……

WARREN ZEVON – Mohammed’s Radio

Everybody’s restless and they’ve got no place to go
Someone’s always trying to tell them
Something they already know
So their anger and resentment flow

But don’t it make you want to rock and roll
All night long
Mohammed’s Radio
I heard somebody singing sweet and soulful
On the radio, Mohammed’s Radio

You know, the Sheriff’s got his problems too
He will surely take them out on you
In walked the village idiot and his face was all aglow
He’s been up all night listening to Mohammed’s Radio

Don’t it make you want to rock and roll
All night long
Mohammed’s Radio
I heard somebody singing sweet and soulful
On the radio, Mohammed’s Radio

Everybody’s desperate trying to make ends meet
Work all day, still can’t pay the price of gasoline and meat
Alas, their lives are incomplete

Don’t it make you want to rock and roll
All night long Mohammed’s Radio
I heard somebody singing sweet and soulful
On the radio, Mohammed’s Radio

You’ve been up all night listening for his drum
Hoping that the righteous might just might just might just come
I heard the General whisper to his aide-de-camp
“Be watchful for Mohammed’s lamp”

Don’t it make you want to rock and roll
All night long Mohammed’s Radio

WARREN ZEVON – Let Nothing Come Between You

When my Mama met my girl, she took me aside
She’s a soft-spoken woman but she speaks her mind
She said “De de de de de de de de de de”
Let nothing come between you
De de de de de de de de de de
Don’t let nothing come between you”
I went to see my friend to ask his advice
He just smiled and, “She’s good around the eyes.”
But I’d already made up my mind
Let nothing come between us

There are frustrated people in town
Who might envy us and try to bring us down
We know they don’t really mean any harm
That doesn’t mean we’ve gotta let ‘em hang around

Got the license–got the ring
Got back the blood tests and everything
Putting on my boutonniere–It’s her favorite flower
Then I’m walking down the altar and I’m gonna take the vow
De de de de de de de de de de
Don’t let nothing come between us
De de de de de de de de de de
Don’t let nothing come between us

There are frustrated people in town
Who might envy us and try to bring us down
We know they don’t really mean any harm
That doesn’t mean we’ve gotta let ‘em hang around

I have advice for the young and old
If I may be so bold
When you find someone to have and hold
Don’t let nothing come between you
De de de de de de de de de de
Get together and let nothing come between us
De de de de de de de de de de
Get together and let nothing come between us

WARREN ZEVON – Lawyers, Guns And Money

Well, I went home with the waitress
The way I always do
How was I to know
She was with the Russians, too

I was gambling in Havana
I took a little risk
Send lawyers, guns and money
Dad, get me out of this

I’m the innocent bystander
Somehow I got stuck
Between the rock and the hard place
And I’m down on my luck
And I’m down on my luck
And I’m down on my luck

Now I’m hiding in Honduras
I’m a desperate man
Send lawyers, guns and money
The shit has hit the fan

WARREN ZEVON – Knockin’ On Heaven’s Door

Mama, take this badge off of me
I can’t use it anymore.
It’s gettin’ dark, too dark to see
And I feel like I’m knockin’ on heaven’s door.

Knock, knock, knockin on heaven’s door
Knock, knock, knockin’ on heaven’s door
Knock, knock, knockin’ on heaven’s door
Knock, knock, knockin’ on heaven’s door

Mama, put my guns in the ground
I can’t shoot them anymore.
That long black cloud is comin’ down
I feel like I’m knockin’ on heaven’s door.
Knock, knock, knockin’ on heaven’s door
Knock, knock, knockin’ on heaven’s door
Knock, knock, knockin’ on heaven’s door
Knock, knock, knockin’ on heaven’s door

WARREN ZEVON – Splendid Isolation

I want to live alone in the desert
I want to be like Georgia O’Keefe
I want to live on the Upper East Side
And never go down in the street

Splendid Isolation
I don’t need no one
Splendid Isolation

Michael Jackson in Disneyland
Don’t have to share it with nobody else
Lock the gates, Goofy, take my hand
And lead me through the World of Self

Splendid Isolation
I don’t need no one
Splendid Isolation

Don’t want to wake up with no one beside me
Don’t want to take up with nobody new
Don’t want nobody coming by without calling first
Don’t want nothing to do with you

I’m putting tinfoil up on the windows
Lying down in the dark to dream
I don’t want to see their faces
I don’t want to hear them scream

Splendid Isolation
I don’t need no one
Splendid Isolation

Splendid Isolation
I don’t need no one
Splendid Isolation