AFROMAN – You Ain’t My Friend

When you born in this world
You get these people that you coincidently grow up with
And you get this illusion of friendship
You know what I’m saying man

But as you get older, you notice
You notice people trying to take advantage of you
You notice people trying to like manipulate you
Then all of the sudden, homeboy, it hits you
And you realize, you ain’t got no friends ’cause

Gotta get on down, gotta get on down
Gotta get on down, gotta get on down
Gotta get on down, you know I gotta get on down
Gotta watch my back, gotta watch my back

‘Cause I might get jacked, gotta pack my gun
Gettin’ beat up ain’t no fun, yeah, baby, baby
Aw yeah, aw yeah, aw yeah

We don’t kick it no more, you ain’t my friend
You need to pay me back my ends ’cause you ain’t my friend
Stop drinkin’ my gin, you ain’t my friend
You ain’t my friend, you ain’t my friend

You be pinchin’ my sack ’cause you ain’t my friend
Talkin’ all behind my back ’cause you ain’t my friend
Yo man it’s all good but you ain’t my friend
‘Cause we from the same hood but you ain’t my friend

Droppin’ dope in my yard, you ain’t my friend
Tryin’ to scope out my broad ’cause you ain’t my friend
Never visit me in jail, you ain’t my friend
Never post my bail ’cause you ain’t my friend

When it comes to friends I ain’t got none
All I got is a double barrel shotgun
I can’t stand a useless man that has no plan
Lookin’ at me with an empty hand

You always talkin’ but you never listen
When you ride in my car CDs come up missin’
And that’s strange
Damn, what happened to my loose change

If I remember correctly, you was flat broke
Now you eatin’ on chips and drinkin’ on a soda LOC
Lookin’ at me smilin’
But yo I need some gas and my stomach is growlin’

Fools always act like they down with me
But they never wanna go outta town with me
Flip about four or five pounds with me
Get a motel sleep on the ground with me

But when I get back with my money stacked
All the homies start beggin’ and talkin’ smack
Tryin’ to scheme and plot on the cash I got
A ’cause go head and shake the spot

We don’t kick it no more, you ain’t my friend
You need to pay me back my ends ’cause you ain’t my friend
Stop drinkin’ my gin, you ain’t my friend
You ain’t my friend, you ain’t my friend

You be pinchin’ my sack ’cause you ain’t my friend
Talkin’ all behind my back ’cause you ain’t my friend
Yo man it’s all good but you ain’t my friend
‘Cause we from the same hood but you ain’t my friend

Droppin’ dope in my yard, you ain’t my friend
Tryin’ to scope out my broad ’cause you ain’t my friend
Never visit me in jail, you ain’t my friend
Never post my bail ’cause you ain’t my friend

I used to be a gang member, now I’ma gangsta
I don’t trust he she him nor her, there’s no honor among thieves
Everybody got tricks up they sleeves
You say you my friend but that’s a bunch of noise

I stopped kickin’ back with my homeboys
That same mother fucker that’s shakin’ ya hand
Be the first one to rat to the police man
Just when you think you’ve found a buddy

Get drunk and your buddy start actin’ nutty
Now isn’t this an excellent adventure
He turned on you like a Doberman pincher
Crazy, as it seems, Afroman gotta million dreams

I can’t hang with ya’ll and drink alcohol
Get into a brawl over nothing at all
I got plans but you don’t believe ‘em
Hangin’ round you I’ll never achieve ‘em

Aw yeah, aw yeah, aw yeah
A, this one for all the loners out there
I ain’t got no family, I ain’t got no friends
Only thing that I have is a big fat bottle of gin

Make me feel all right, make me feel all right
Soothe me till I’m satisfied, yeah make me feel all right
I got the gangsta blues, yeah got the gangsta blues
Stacy Adams shoes with the gangsta blues

Do the crip walk, do the crip walk
A everybody, do the crip walk
A ’cause, do the crip walk
Do the crip walk, do the crip walk

Nobody loves me but my mama and I think she’s lying too
I could never be your friend homeboy and I ain’t trying to
Women can’t stand, Afroman
Cops can’t stand, Afroman

My wife can’t stand, Afroman
My kids can’t stand, Afroman
My mama can’t stand, Afroman
My daddy can’t stand, Afroman

‘Cause I’ma gangsta baby, I’ma gangsta baby
I’ma hustler sug, I’ma hustler sug
Ain’t got no job, ain’t got no friends
But whatever you need, baby I’m gonna get

‘Cause I’ma hustler baby, I made my point
So pass the joint, can I get a light?
That’s all right

AFROMAN – Wonderful Tonite

The more you drink
The better I sound.

Go to the bar
And buy another round.

I feel wonderful,
How many people feel wonderful tonight
(Hehe)

She unfastenes her bra starp,
She slids off her underwear.
The beautiful moonlight, Yeaa
Reflects on her pubic hair,

I open her legs.
Then I slowly slide my tounge inside
I say darlin’.
You Taste Wonderful Tonight!

(Haoo) (HaHaHaha)
Yeaa Come On Yea

Hey What’s going on mayne,
Are Y’all having a good time over here?
(HaHehha)
It Don’t Stop,
Yo Let Me Hit That Mayne, Yeaa

Say What,..

She sucks on my dick head,
She gradually licks my balls.
She tickles my ass hole,
Cous’ this girl can do it all.

I came so hard, I slowly lost my eye sight
AndI said, Darlin’, (Yeaaa) You Sucked Wonderful Tonight.

(Yeaa, It Don’t Stop)

Hey Get The Phone Mayne.,
[TelePhone Ringing]

Hello?… What

Eric Clapmen Ain’t Going To Clear It?

Damn, Tell Him To Sue Me This Shit Is Tight

Ahahahahaha

Backock

AFROMAN – Whack Rappers

This next song is dedicated to all wack rappers
And all the wack people that like and buy they wack music
I think you crazy
If you like Jay-Z
Don’t Change Clothes
Change the CD!
Murphy Lee
What the hook gon’ be?
Cause you do need a hook and another beat
Jermaine Dupri, you know you wrong
Fucked up Chingy’s song!
Afro motherfucking M-A-N
Can’t stand no motherfuckin’ Ying Yang Twins
I think Lil’ Jon And The Eastside Boys
Is and ignorant, irritating bunch of noise
If you don’t gave a damn gon’ throw it out {What}
If you don’t gave a damn gon’ throw it out
The windoooooooooow Up against the wall!
Up against the wall, Laugh when the motherfucker fall
These fools can’t rap at all
I never buy your tune from The Neptune
When they beat come on I hope it go off soon
Fabolous? What’s Fabolous about it?
I think you terrible, music unbearable
Ripping off Ma$e
With that look on his face
Aw man, I rest my case
Kelis, wow
I hate her so much right now
“My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard”
Who gave her a record deal? Oh my God!
Nas is in the video with Kelis
Jay-Z is in the video with Beyonce
Both of these rappers are wack
Yet people talk smack about forty Belafonte
The music industry is using the slang
And try to play it off like they doin’ they thang’
Come on Camrom
Oh boy Oh boy Dipset Dipset Oh boy Oh boy
How can you be from a city so black?
And bust shitty lyrics that Whick Whick Wack
Get back on Kelis
Oh yeah Kelis
This is what I want you to do
Get on your knees, face me
I got a milkshake for you and it’s tasty
Just like your album
Puff Daddy, Enough already!
Now it’s P. Diddy
Still sound shitty
How can your group be called ‘Da Band’
Nobody plays an instrument man
I dont play B2K
R&B singers Be Too Gay
You know they broke up over money
Oh yeah
Thats too bad I don’t Care
I think its good, no doubt
They can stop putting all that bullshit out!
Like what
What a girl want, What a girl need
A fuckin’ job and a brand new hair weave
What a girl want, What a girl need
A fuckin’ job and a brand new…

Bump Bump Bump
Now this all I wanna do
Bump Bump Bump
That’s my song That’s what I wrote down on a piece of paper
Bump Bump Bump
Call up Puff Daddy ask him if he wanna do a verse with me
Take that, Take that

Real Pimps get down on the flo’
But I don’t see a hoe, In the video
I know, Why is David Banner runnin’ from The Clan?
What happend to the bitches man?
Hmm.. Cadillac on 22′s
Why is David Banner taking off his shoes?
It’s suppost to be about Cadillacs
Not David Banner bringing dead people back
Even though its all good
It might get misunderstood
Dance skippy Miss Hippy is the hood
Raps Im writing up, I can’t lighten up
Until these wack ass rappers tighten up
Missy Elliot thinks she looks like Halle Berry
That scary
Her CD aint worth it
Pur your money in your pocket and reverse it
Her CD aint worth it
Pur your money in your pocket and reverse it

Missy Elloit makes a bunch of bullshit
Missy Elloit makes a bunch of bullshit
Missy Elloit makes a bunch of bullshit
Missy Elloit makes a bunch of bullshit
Missy Elloit makes a bunch of bullshit
Missy… Hey check this out man

I can’t stand her music, going in my ear
If you like Missy Elliot, get the fuck out of here
I can’t stand her music, going in my ear
If you like Missy Elliot, get the fuck out of here
Most rappers are Wack
Just like the people they attract
Most rappers are Wack
Just like the people they attract
Most rappers are Wack
Just like the people they attract
Most rappers are Wack
Just like the people they attract
Trinas on TV, Yeah ooh she fine
Hey homey {Wassup}
Trinas on TV {She cute}
Not when she rapping, press mute
And now we’re gonna play a single from the album ‘Weaveolution’

Even with a weave, I can’t stand Eve
Even with a weave, I can’t stand Eve
Even with a weave, I can’t stand Eve
Even with a weave, I can’t stand Eve
Even with a weave, I can’t stand Eve

I cant stand Eve, Thats what I said
She got a pinhead
Most people head is round
Hers go up and down, like a peanut
She could be pretty
If her atttude wasn’t so shitty
Talkin about “Ya trying to come through the back do’”
She aint got no back do’ what she talking smack fo’?
Male bashing with Mary J
Like Queen Latifah she must be gay
In my radio you gets no play
Not today
What the fuck happend to MTV?
Why these wack people get to make a CD?
I don’t know man, Look at 50 Cent
He don’t move his mouth when he rappin’ man
He be rappin’ like Mike Tyson or something
He don’t move his mouth

[Talks like 50 Cent]
Open Yo’ Mouth!
…
‘I’ll teach you how to Stunt’
Teach me how to Stunt?
They need to let me teach em’ how to roll a fat blunt
Get high, get drunk and take it easy
And stop making songs so cheesy!
Now Mannie Fresh is actually fresh
And Juvenile
I like his style
But the worst rapper I ever heard man
Is the wack ass motherfucking Birdman
What about Silkk the Shocker?
My name is Silkk and I’ll shock you
I just been shocked by Silkk the Shocker!

AFROMAN – Tumbleweed

It’s been a long, long time I’ve been smoking, smoking marijuana
It takes me out of my ghetto and places me in the Bahamas
It’s been a long, long time I’ve been smoking, smoking marijuana
It takes me out of my ghetto and places me in the Bahamas

It puts my mind at ease
Indulging myself in the calm breeze
And my problems will float away
Beyond the palm trees

But I gotta keep smoking and a smoking and a smoking on
I keep choking and a choking and a choking on
I keep selling and a selling and inhaling
My tumbleweed

I like to go to Palm Dale, sit by the fountain
I light up a fat one gazing at the snow capped mountains
I like to go to Palm Dale, sit by the fountain
Light up a fat one gazing at the snow capped mountains

Baby please don’t nag
Go and get me the Zig Zag
And my problems will blow away
Like a plastic bag

But I gotta keep smoking and a smoking and a smoking on
I keep choking and a choking and a choking on
I keep selling and a selling and inhaling
My tumbleweed

I need to get a job and that’s not funny
‘Cause me be smoking too much ganja and me running out of money
I’ve got to lie to the man, tell him that I’ve never been arrested
I’ve got to go to the clinic baby, I’ve got to get drug tested

I got no food for my stomach
Got no gas for my Coupe De Ville
I’ve got to walk to the supermarket
For some golden seal

‘Cuz everyday I be smoking and a smoking and a smoking on
And I be choking and a choking and a choking on
And I be selling and a selling and inhaling
My tumbleweed, yeah

I said the black man smoking
If he’s a slow bro
I said the Mexican smoking
If he’s a cholo
I said the Creole smoking
Down in Mississippi
I said the white man smoking
If he’s a hippie

It puts my mind at ease
Indulging myself in the calm breeze
And my problems will float away
Beyond the palm trees

But I’ve got to keep smoking and a smoking and a smoking on
I keep choking and a choking and a choking on
I keep selling and a selling and inhaling
My tumbleweed, yeah

It puts my mind at ease
Indulging myself in the calm breeze
And my problems will float away
Beyond the palm trees

But I’ve got to keep smoking and a smoking and a smoking on
I keep choking and a choking and a choking on
I keep selling and a selling and inhaling
My tumbleweed, yeah
My tumbleweed, yeah

AFROMAN – There’s a Price 2 Pay

yeah… there’s a price to pay for the girls you lay
life’s gonna hang you a bill one day
before your freedom or your life get took
get a girl, a wife or a playboy book

one more time
[CHORUS]

sitting at a red light
trying to get my head right
this girl pass with a monster-ass
mentally distracted
I manustry reacted
my penis’ expanded
her number I demanded
the questions I asked her were nice and discrete
but now she’s in my passenger seat
turn up the beat
went to my castle
fucked without a hassle
oh, it felt great in her asshole
she was sexy seductive
her name was Morgan
I loved the way she sucked my reproductive organ
I road it and road it
finally unloaded (uhh)
went to the bathroom because I couldn’t hold it
oh I looked down and I was trippin’
because I’d seen blood drippin’
off the tip of my penis
it don’t take a genius
to figure she’s a virgin
scrubbed my dick with detergent
I’m in the mix, if you know what I mean
’cause the girl’s only sixteen
your nipples are hard
your bootie’s soft
but cutie I need to drop you off
grabed my keys then smashed down the street
trying to get rid of the braud
but her mama standing in the front yard
lookin’ at me weird ’cause I’m gangsta geared
I looked kinda old with a fro and a beard
she looked at me if I was Satan
I smashed off in my honey stote daytons
turned the shit up had the bass go knocking
stressing like a mothafucker going back to Compton
turned down the street and I was skatin’ homey
Sheriff department straight waiting on me
we just need to ask a few questions homey
why the fuck you putting these handcuffs on me?
got to the station, now they tellin’ me
that shit I did was a felony
maybe you can release your rap tape
when you through doing time for statutorial rape

[CHORUS]

Buccccoooc
Padapapayaa…

Met this girl named Kim working at [M&M?]
she was nice and slim
she got a man but she don’t talk to him
you don’t let her tell it
sniff that pussy you can probably smell it
anyway she got a baby, offcourse, offcourse
her and her man is going through a divorce
we kept talkin’ so good so far
we started walkin’ back to my car
fired up the engine went to my house
pulled down my pants, started cheatin’ on my spouse
with the slow tempo, I fucked the braud , but she’s a nimfo
bitch likes it fast and hard oh my god this girl is odd
lost my vision as I shot my wad
pulled on my pants, cocked up my gat
I gotta get rid of this hood rat
’cause she’s callin’ up her man on my telephone
it’s time for this bitch to take her ass home
after ejaculation, took the bitch home with no conversation
no more Luther or s gate
I pulled out my all-white too short tape
I’m playin’ too short and the shit still hit
Ima make the bitch walk if she talks some shit
got to her house banged on the curve
threw my head back fired up some herb
she asked me do you wanna come in
I said wait a minute woman
who do you live with
she said I’m single, I don’t play that shit
I don’t lie I tell every guy
you gotta call me first before you come by
I said alright
put my car in park
then I walked inside
I hit the alarm for my ’83 caddy
she was yippin’ and yappin’
about her baby daddy
talkin’ with her hoochie pitch
she called her baby-daddy a lil’ old bitch
talkin’ shit loud and fast
bitch talking but she kicked his ass
said she socked him like a lil’ old hoe
we was disturbed by a knock on the door
damn who’s that where’s my gat
I hope I don’t die fucking with this hood-rat
I’m trying to be one of those Palmdale playas
but now I’m caught in some chaos
but now I’m caught in some chaos
but now I’m caught…
hey anyway man
the TV and the radio was playin’
I couldn’t quite figure out what they was saying
they voices started escalating
and im sitting on the couch debating
should I stay? should I leave?
should I grab this bitch by her fucking weave
sock her in the eye bitch don’t lie
you knew your baby-daddy was fixing to come by
and you invited me in
now look at the shape im in
my palms are sweaty
my muscles was tense
stood up fool I couldn’t take the suspense
I walked to the door kinda nervous
Im not ready for a funeral service
opened the door, calm and cool
I got eye contact with the fool
she talked about him as if he was small
come to find out he’s like seven feet tall
I smoke he smoke
he gave me a pound with his hand
I walked right past the man
jumped in my ’83 Cadillac
drove down the street then I never came back
went to the house grabbed the mic and started rappin’
about the scandiling shit that could’ve happened

[CHORUS]

bucooc!

Padapapayaa

AFROMAN – Tall Cans

Ahh shit! Shit! Shit

Now I’m walkin’ down the street with some chicken and a forty
I’m yellin’ at these hooches and I’m lookin’ for a party
Drink it fast, make it last, till you know it ain’t no mo’
Run outta doe, slap the hoe
Get the do’ and go back to that liquor sto’

Afroman likes tall cans
Afroman likes tall cans
Afroman likes tall cans
Afroman likes tall cans

Now I’m a afroholic, call me Afroman
Love to sag my khakis with a tall can
My homies pop the forty of some St. I’s
Now that mother uh! Staggerin’ from side to side

We the loudest homeboys in my neighborhood
We look real bad but we feel so good
My thirst is quenched but my cravin won’t extinguish
I need some forty ounce mother uh! Old English
Put the top in my mouth put the bottom to the ceilin’
Drink it down down until I get that crazy feelin’

Now just walkin’ down the street with some chicken and a forty
I’m yellin’ at these hooches and I’m lookin’ for a party
Drink it fast, make it last, till you know it ain’t no mo’
Run outta doe, slap the hoe
Get the do’ and go back to that liquor sto’

Afroman likes tall cans
Afroman likes tall cans
Afroman likes tall cans
Afroman likes tall cans

See these girls be actin’ all bad and rude
Always gotta bad attitude
See I just wanna dance, why can’t you get the picture
Act like a brother wanna move in with cha

I got no fame, I got no wealth
So I whined up dancin’ by my goddamn self
But I pay my money, just like you
And baby I’ma do what I came to do
You see I can’t wait around till I get rich
Just to make yo gold diggin’ attitude switch

So I’m walkin’ down the street with some chicken and a forty
I’m yellin’ at these hooches and I’m lookin’ for a party
Drink it fast, make it last, till you know it ain’t no mo’
Run outta doe, slap the hoe
Get the do’ and go back to that liquor sto’

Afroman likes tall cans
Afroman likes tall cans
Afroman likes tall cans
Afroman likes tall cans

I stepped into this party full of Mexicans
I didn’t realize I was the only black man
One hand on my bottle, the other on my Peter
I barked like a dog and started freakin’ senoritas

I think she was embarrassed with the eight ball in my cup
She kept on steppin’ back so I kept on steppin’ up
This vaco strolled up, put his gun to my head
I knew if I moved I was officially dead

That had to be his woman, I know it doggonit
That ain’t the first time that I got confronted
[Foreign content] get the fuck outta here
I said I’m gone mother fucker, now gimme my beer

‘Cause I’m just walkin’ down the street with some chicken and a forty
I’m yellin’ at these hooches and I’m lookin’ for a party
Drink it fast, make it last, till you know it ain’t no mo’
Run outta doe, slap the hoe
Get the do’ and go back to that liquor sto’

Afroman likes tall cans
Afroman likes tall cans
Afroman likes tall cans
Afroman likes tall cans

I’m walkin’ down the street with some chicken and a forty
I’m yellin’ at these hooches and I’m lookin’ for a party
Drink it fast, make it last, till you know it ain’t no mo’
Outta doe, slap the hoe
Get the do’ and go back to that liquor sto’

Afroman likes tall cans
Afroman likes tall cans
Afroman likes tall cans
Afroman likes tall cans

Well I’m a afroholic, call me Afroman
Love to sag my khakis with a tall can
My homie pop the forty of some St. I’s
Now that knucklehead staggerin’ from side to side

We the loudest homeboys in my neighborhood
We look real bad but we feel so good
My thirst is quenched but my cravin’ won’t extinguish
I need some forty ounce mother fucking old English
Put the top in my mouth put the bottom to the ceilin’
Drink it diggy diggy down till I get that crazy feelin’

I’m just walkin’ down the street with some chicken and a forty
I’m yellin’ at these hooches and I’m lookin’ for a party
Drink it fast, make it last, till you know it ain’t no mo’
Outta doe, here we go back to that liquor sto’

Afroman likes tall cans
Afroman likes tall cans
Afroman likes tall cans
Afroman likes tall cans

Now these women be actin’ all bad and rude
Always gotta bad attitude
You see I just wanna dance, why can’t you get the picture
You act like a brother wanna move in with cha

I got no fame, I got no wealth
So I whined up dancin by my god-damn self
But I pay my money, just like you
And baby I’ma do what I came to do
You see I can’t wait around till I get rich
Just to make yo gold diggin’ attitude switch

So I’m walkin’ down the street with some chicken and a forty
I’m yellin’ at these hooches and I’m lookin’ for a party
Drink it fast, make it last, till you know it ain’t no mo’
Outta doe, here we go back to that liquor sto’

Afroman likes tall cans
Afroman likes tall cans
Afroman likes tall cans

AFROMAN – The American Dream

Yes! Yes! Thank you for inviting me here for my final speech.
Ladies and gentlemen, homosexuals, lesbians, and transvestites,
allow me to introduce myself as the Hungry Hustler, Afroman.
I am the American Dream. Even though the government tried to experiment with me
by placing me in the projects, I’m still the American Dream.
Surrounded by drugs,
jeopardized my life by living around thugs,
but I’m still the American Dream.
Kicked outta Palmdale High School
because I was considered a distraction to the educational process.
I’ve traveled through the complete metamorphosis of the justice system,
and I’m still the American Dream.
Entered Juvenile Hall as a tadpole;
hopped outta prison as a bull frog,
but I’m still the American Dream.
The most rejected, disrespected,
when I went for a job I was never selected,
but I am still the American Dream.
And right about now,
I find it quite serendipitous to see that all of you some-timin’,
wishy-washy, two-faced, back-stabbin’,
coniving hypocrites have accumulated here in my midst to persecute my character
with such flagrant slanderousity,
but I counter-attack by calling it constructive criticism,
and all of your negativity has been recycled into motivation,
and I am still the American Dream.
Amazing Grace, how sweet the sound that saved a wretch like me.
I once was lost, but now I’m found; was blind, but now I see.
There’s a lot of people out there who can identify with me.
Young lady right here, you may be a single teenaged mother,
but you are still the American Dream.
The lady next to you, yes. Your breasts may not be as big as men think they should be,
but you are still the American Dream.
Young man, you may not be a baller, shot caller,
with 20 inch blades on the impala, but you are still the American Dream.
Young man right here, you may have spent all your money on a hood rat bitch
and didn’t get no pussy last night, but you are still the American Dream.
Yes sir, I am just like Ham. I’m for the black man,
the mexican, and even poor white,
all human beings that have no rights. So put down your past, pick up your future,
follow me as we journey through the Red Sea,
cause I have been to the mountain top,
I’ve seen the Promised Land,
mine eyes have seen the glory of the Underground Category.
My mind has been delivered.
My spirit has been reinstated from the Corporate World’s modern-day slavery.
I’ve been emancipated. Free at last! Free at last! Fuck a drug test,
I’m fittin’ to roll some grass. Love, peace, and Afro grease, Fro-ever! Buccooocc!

A-E-I-O-U, and sometimes W. ‘Cuz I’m high, cuz I’m high, cuz I’m high.

AFROMAN – She Won’t Let Me Fucc

(Hey Sugar, how you doin’? Your pretty face don’t match that nasty attitude.
What do you mean, ‘Where’s my girl?’ Probably with your man. Can we fuck?)

She won’t let me fuck.
I really need to bust a nut.
She won’t let me fuck.
I really need to bust a nut.

(Hey, check this out.)
It’s so frustrating being a man, all these sexy women don’t understand
Things we need to do, every other day or two
Like take you home baby, and make sweet love to you,
But you, you won’t let me fuck.

She won’t let me fuck. (You say the mood ain’t right.)
I really need to bust a nut. (I know that pussy’s tight.)
She won’t let me fuck. (Give it to me, baby.)
I really need to bust a nut.

Her heart is still broken, (Poor baby.) her emotions are sore. (I know what you mean, girl.)
She is trying to recover from the man before. (Hey, that’s my homeboy, cause.)
Her ex-boyfriend, (Who, Jermaine?) he probably can’t see (shake that ass.)
that it was easy for him (uh, say what?) but he made is hard for me. (Why, man?)
Cause she, she won’t let me fuck.

She won’t let me fuck. (Aw, give it to me baby.)
I really need to bust a nut. (You know just what I need.)
She won’t let me fuck. (Girl, you eatin’ all my food, you drinkin’ all my beer)
I really need to bust a nut. (you smokin’ all my weed!)

You rub your ass against me on the disco floor. (shake that ass.)
I asked you for your number and you said ‘Hell no!’
(That’s alright. Hey, fuck that bitch look at that one over there,cause.)
You always hang around me everyday. Different women wanna kick it, but you scare them away.
Now I get offended when you come around, cause I’m tired of my organs
(Your organs?) going up and down. That sucks, cause she won’t let me fuck.

She won’t let me fuck. (Aw, give it to me baby, give it to me honey.)
I really need to bust a nut. (Don’t play with my head again.)
She won’t let me fuck. (Let me hit it baby, let me hit it baby.)
I really need to bust a nut. (Are you a lesbian?)

Oh, let me lick it baby. Let me stick it honey. Buccoooc!
I’ll give you my money.
Girl, you can have it all. Go ahead and have a ball.
If you want, you can take them both, baby.

In the year 2000 I see thousands of pretty young women I find arousin’
Grocery store shopping, magazine browsin’, many different ways they keep their hair styles and
Full of boredom, I walk toward ‘em, get ‘em close to me cause I’m supposed to be
Male aggressor, female impresser. Say the right things, possibly undress her.
But that’s the post game, this is still the pre-game.
Silly woman She-game. Baby, what’s your name?
Even though I’m a freak, I play it off like a college geek, crack a smile and politely speak
With intellect to the woman I select, hoping that she won’t detect
my egotistical chauvinistical lust I thrust ’til I scream like Mystical.
The wrong message I hope I’m not sending. Laughing and pretending my dick’s not extending.
Can’t be overzealous, she might discover. She’s walkin’ away, (Bitch!) blew my cover.

She won’t let me fuck. (You know I love you.)
I really need to bust a nut. (Please don’t change the subject.)
She won’t let me fuck. (We could’ve fucked all night long)
I really need to bust a nut. (but, but, but, but your telephone number is wrong.)

She won’t let me fuck. (Girl you got a lot to give.)
I really need to bust a nut. (You dress, you dress, so provocative.)
She won’t let me fuck. (I can see your lingerie, from real far away.)
I really need to bust a nut. (Bitch, you must think I’m gay.)

Don’t make me beg. Baby, let me rub your leg.
Don’t make me cry. Look into my eye.
Girl, you damn pretty. Stop actin’ so siddity. Put some oil on your titties.
Hey, man, I’m up outta here. She don’t wanna fuck.

AFROMAN – Suck A Dick Jockey

i always wanted to be on the fucking radio
but they wouldn’t play me though
whack ass corporate world dj
only play what the pencil neck geeks say play
i stopped making songs for them
i started making songs for me
whats wrond with me
i sold it on the street, they love my beat
homemade talent packed with heat
somebody put me on napster
next thing you know, im on the radio, in San Diego
howard stern gave me a spin

AFROMAN – She Won’t Let Me Fuck

Hey sugar, how you doing, huh
Your pretty face don’t match that nasty attitude
What you mean where my girl
Probably with your man
Can we fuck?

She won’t let me fuck
(Baby)
I really need to bust a nut
(Ohh)

She won’t let me fuck
(Honey)
I really need to bust a nut
(Ohh)

It’s so frustrating, yeah
Being a man
All these sexy women
Don’t understand

Things we need to do, yeah
Every other day or two
Like take you home, baby yeah
And make sweet love to you
But you you won’t let me fuck

She won’t let me fuck
(You say the mood ain’t right, uh)
I really need to bust a nut
(I know that pussy’s tight)

She won’t let me fuck
(Oh, give it to me, baby)
I really need to bust a nut
(Ohh)

Her heart is still broken
Her emotions are sore
She’s trying to recover
From the man before

Her ex-boyfriend
He probably can’t see
That it was easy for him
But, uh, he made it hard for me
‘Cause she, she won’t let me fuck

She won’t let me fuck
(Oh, give it to me, baby)
I really need to bust a nut
(You know just what I need, yeah)

She won’t let me fuck
(Girl, you eating all my food)
(Girl drinking all my beer)
I really need to bust a nut
(You’re smoking all my weed, yeah)

You rub your ass against me
On the disco floor
I asked you for your number
And you said hell no

You always hang around me everyday
Different women wanna kick it
But you scare them away

Now I get up ended
When you come around
‘Cause I’m tired of my organs
Going up and down
That sucks
‘Cause she won’t let me fuck

She won’t let me fuck
(Oh, give it to me, baby)
I really need to bust a nut
(Don’t play with my head again)

She won’t let me fuck
(Let me hit it, baby)
(Yeah, let me hit it, baby)
I really need to bust a nut
(Are you a lesbian)

Oh, let me lick it baby
Yeah, let me stick it, honey
I’ll give you my money
Girl, you can have it all
Go ahead and have a ball
If you want you can take ?em both, baby

In the year 2000
I see thousand
Of pretty young women
I found arousin’
Grocery store shoppin’
Magazine browsin’

Many different ways
To keep their hair styles in
Full of boredom
I walk toward ‘em

Get ‘em close to me
‘Cause I’m suppose to be
Male aggressor
Female impresser

Say the right things
Possibly undress her
But that’s the post game
This is still the pre game

Silly woman she game
Baby, what’s your name
Even though I’m a freak
I play it off like a college geek

Crack a smile and politely speak
With intelligent to the women I select
Hoping that she don’t detect
My egotistical chauvinistical lust
I thrust till I scream like Mystikal
Yah!

The wrong message I hope I’m not sendin
Laughin’ and pretendin’ my dick’s not extendin’
Can’t be over zealous she might discover
She’s walking away, bitch, blew my cover

She won’t let me fuck
(You know I love it)
I really need to bust a nut
(Please don’t change the subject)

She won’t let me fuck
(We could’ve fucked all night long)
I really need to bust a nut
(But your telephone number is bone)

She won’t let me fuck
(Girl, you got a lot to give)
I really need to bust a nut
(You dress so provocative, yeah)

She won’t let me fuck
(I can see your lingerie from real far away)
I really need to bust a nut
(Bitch, you must think I’m gay)

Aw, don’t make me beg
Baby, let me rub your leg
Don’t make me cry
Look into my eyes

Girl you so damn pretty
Stop acting so [unverified]
Let me rub some oil on your ti hahaha
Yo I’m up outta here she don’t want to fuck ‘cuz

AFROMAN – Palmdale

Just like bums, we used to stay in the slums of LA by the way
Gang-bangers killin’ each other for rep, sellin’ rock cocaine on my doorstep
Had a ball to bounce plus a bike to ride, but my mama never would let me play outside.
But when I got enrolled in elementary school, started bangin’ like a fuckin’ fool.
So cool, throwin’ up gang signs to the gangster beat, shot an enemy from across the street
Mama came home, said she got a good job. Daddy did too. Now they don’t squab.
Financially, we improvin’. 2 months later, son, we movin’.
No more duckin’ from shotgun shells. Bought a two-story house in East Palmdale.
(give it to me now.)

Palmdale, come back to me.
I need you and I love you, baby.
Palmdale, come back to me.
(Check it out, check it out, check it out.)

No more rats and no more roaches, livin’ next door to football coaches.
Now I got a new place to sell me crack. Now I got little white kids to jack.
I stopped wearin’ blue, wasn’t trippin’ on red. Too busy squabbin’ with the skinheads.
Stupid questions, distract the class. Rubbin’ little white girls on the ass.
I didn’t really care if I passed or failed, I knew I was headed for the NFL,
Until the playoff game, shoulder got hurt. I thought about my future, layin’ in the dirt.
I can’t jump, I can’t flinch. Superstar player, ridin’ the bench.
Graduate from school? Don’t make me laugh. I got an F+ in basic math.
(give it to me now.)

Palmdale, (Hell, yeah.) come back to me.
I gotta do one song for my neighborhood. Bucccoooc!
Palmdale, come back to me.
(check it out.)

I knew I couldn’t make it in the white man’s world, so I bought me some khakis and a Geri curl.
I knew I couldn’t make it to the NFL, so I went to East Palmdale and started slingin’ yayo.
For sure! I was makin’ crazy dough. Should’ve dropped outta school a long time ago.
Bought a cell phone, like a nut. Now I deliver like Pizza Hut.
I drunk whisky and Bacardi. I sold dope to anybody.
Me and my homies sold dubs and dimes, took turns bustin’ rhymes just to pass the time.
A white man drove up to my spot. He said, Hey, homeboy, what you got?
I put a fat rock inside his hand. About 25 sheriffs jumped out the van.
(Get down, punk.)

Palmdale, (Hell, yeah) come back to me.
I need you and I love you, baby.
Palmdale, come back to me.
(check it out, check it out, check it out.)

Can’t get drunk. Can’t get blunted. LA County, 95 hundred.
Crips wanna take my All-stars. Bloods wanna eat my Snicker bars.
Them peckerwoods don’t want none, but the Mexican’s straight own one.
Them Essays, I thought I’d say for the Essays always try to test me,
So I jumped off the bed, cause I ain’t no punk. Jammed his head up against the bunk.
Socked that Cholo in his chin. Black mother-fuckers scared to jump in.
Sheriff broke it up when we hit the floor. I kept talkin’ shit cause I want some more.
Back in town, we get along with the brown. Now I’m in jail, they tryin’ to beat me down.
Jail is hell, but I’ll adapt. Won’t hesitate to get in a scrap.
‘Cause I’m down for mine, and that’s for certain, sittin’ in the hole with my knuckles hurtin’.
(Palmdale)

Palmdale, (Hell, yeah.) come back to me.
I need you and I love you, baby.
Palmdale, come back to me.
(check it out, homeboy.)

Now I got a fucked up life. Two bad kids and a naggin’ wife.
Dead end job at the airport. Check too short to pay the house note.
Turn on the TV, then I see different homeboys that went to school with me
Playin’ in the NFL. We used to kick back in East Palmdale.
Rodney Williams. Lorenz Tate. Zeno plays for Colorado State.
I wish my homeboys much success, but at the same time, I still get depressed.
Walkin’ through the wind with a cup full of gin thinkin’ ’bout things that could’ve, would’ve, should’ve been.
I wipe my tears, sip my beers, wish good luck to my peers.
(Palmdale.)

Palmdale, come back to me.
I need you and I love you, baby.
Palmdale, come back to me.
Cause that’s where my heartache began, heartache began.

Palmdale, come back to me.
I need you and I love you, baby.
Palmdale, come back to me.
Cause that’s where my heartache began, heartache began.

Palmdale, come back to me.
(Hey, all the homeboys on the football team, where y’all at?)
Palmdale, come back to me.
(Hey, wherever you at in the world, I don’t care if you in Japan, Africa
hey, you know how we used to do it, man. Hey, hey, hey.)
Yo, let me get a Palm (Palm!)
Yo, let me get a Dale (Dale!)
Yo, what do we sell? (YELL!)
Yo, where we fittin’ to go? (We fittin’ to go back to jail!)
[x4]

Dale. Palmdale. (Hey, everybody just clap your hands.)
Dale. Palmdale. (C’mon, c’mon, c’mon. Buci-buci-bucccoooc!)
Dale. Palmdale.
Dale. (Where them Falcons at?) Palmdale. (It ain’t over ’til the fat man sings.)
Dale. (Little Rock can’t get none. What, what?) Palmdale.
Dale. Palmdale.
[fade out.]

AFROMAN – Smoke A Blunt

smoke a blunt
i love to smoke a blunt man
hey man you know, my white homies ask me
do you like uh, bongs or blunts?
i tell ‘em blunts, cause i get pulled over all the time
i can’t be throwin’ bongs out the window, you know what i mean

smoke a blunt
nice and slow
hold the smoke
then let it go

smoke a blunt
nice and slow
hold the smoke
then let it go

i love smoking weed all by myself
dont have to pass it to no one else
i hit my blunt
anytime i want
got so much weed i dont have to hunt

i dont get hyper
i dont get crunk
i do get high
i do get drunk

once im high and im high no doubt
i grab my ashtray and put my cigar out
once my high is gone with the wind
i grab my lighter then i flick then i again

briefly take a chronic break
weed headache
big mistake
im high so i put my blunt down
turn up my music and dance all around

i can’t hear the phone
i can’t hear the door
i never leave home ‘less
its time to school

smoke a blunt
nice and slow
hold the smoke
now let it go

smoke a blunt
nice and slow
hold the smoke
now let it go

i remember when i started smokin weed
pickin’ out the stems and the seeds
i didn’t have enough to buy me a beer
my homeboy told me to hit this here(?)

i grabbed the blunt
i took a hit
i thought to myself
“i like this shit”
it’s better than beer
so annalyze this
i don’t have to go take a piss

i don’t know how to roll
but the people i roll with
know how to roll blunts like a pole

smoke a blunt
nice and slow
hold the smoke
now let it go
hahah

smoke a blunt
nice and slow
hold the smoke
now let it go

smoke a blunt
nice and slow
hahahah
hold a smoke, uh
now let it goo
hahahah uhh haha uhh

drivin’ cross country though minnesota
state fuckin’ trooper straight pulled me over
he said i was drivin’ fast as hell
he took a deep breath and asked “what’s that smell?”
i knew i was busted, at this point
so i handed him a beautiful, perfectly rolled joint

he looked at it once,
he looked at it twice,
he told me, “you roll your joints real nice”

afroman don’t give a fuck
light that blunt and get stupid stuff
smokin’ to me is so much fun
people bitch cause i don’t get nothin’ done

if you are a little kid
please don’t do the things i did
anti-drug message? let me see..
don’t smoke weed
give it to me!

smoke a blunt
nice and slow
hold the smoke
now let it go

smoke a blunt
nice and slow
hold the smoke
now let it go

smoke a blunt
nice and slow
hold the smoke
now let it go

AFROMAN – Sell Your Dope

A few words of inspiration
This song is dedicated to hustlers standing on the curb
Smokin’ herb, movin’ weight from the inner city to the suburbs
Paranoid of jail, pocket full of ya’ll, just waitin’ on another sale
Sip your beer, wipe your tears
Encourage your peers, it’s gonna be alright

Everything is gonna be alright, sell your dope
Make your money every night
Them brothers around the corner, they wanna start a fight
Sell your dope, keep on hustlin’ till your money’s right

You and your girl argue every night
Sell your dope especially when your pocket’s tight
You can’t find a job ‘cuz your skin ain’t white
Sell your dope brother, you know this world ain’t right

Hey, whattup lil’ inchworm
I hope this letter make you feel just a lil’ bit better
Got your T-shirt picked your khakis creased
So you can be G’d up when you get released

Me and my homeboys put together some Jimmys
To buy some beer and a couple of strippers
You can use my car till you find another
Can’t wait till you get home

But later on, that money you get from your GR check
Should be enough to put you back on deck
Now I know, you on parole but don’t be scared
This time, we be prepared

Fuck the feds, don’t say shit to your broad
Keep your dope stashed in your neighbors yard
When they kick in the door with they steel toed boot
Won’t find nothin’ but a lawsuit, baby, baby

Everything is gonna be alright, sell your dope
Make your money every night
Them brothers around the corner, they wanna start a fight
Sell your dope, keep on hustlin’ till your money’s right

You and your girl argue every night
Sell your dope especially when your pocket’s tight
You can’t find a job ‘cuz your skin ain’t white
Sell your dope brother, you know this world ain’t right

Your baby momma, she might trip
‘Cuz you hangin’ with a Crip tryin’ to clock your grip
She can’t help a black man out
But when bills come around, she’s got her hand out

The baby needs Pampers and Similac
Plus you need rims for your Cadillac
Ignore your girl when she starts trippin’
Keep them kilos flippin’ Dayton’s dipin’

We can expand by a little land
Hand the dope game down to the next man
Buy a little business clean the money
Look at the cops funny, hey hey hey

Frontin’ in your Caddy or a beat up Taurus
Got the baby gangsters sellin’ shit for us
We can dance underwater and not get wet
Sell crack on the internet but not yet

Everything is gonna be alright, sell your dope
Make your money every night
Them brothers around the corner, they wanna start a fight
Sell your dope, keep on hustlin’ till your money’s right

You and your girl argue every night
Sell your dope especially when your pocket’s tight
You can’t find a job ‘cuz your skin ain’t white
Sell your dope brother, you know this world ain’t right

Them brothers around the corner they wanna start a fight
Sell your dope, keep on hustlin’ till your money’s right
You and your girl argue every night

Sell your dope especially when your pocket’s tight
You can’t find a job ‘cuz your skin ain’t white
Sell your dope brother, you know this world ain’t right

1, 2, 3, 4 breakdown

Early in the morning when I get outta bed
I chop up some quarter pieces and get ready for my cluck heads
I sell it all day baby, you sell it all night long
Till the 15th comes around and everybody is all gone

I go out and buy some activator turn my fro into a jheri curl
Put the Daytona’s on my lac and then I go scoop up my little girl
Baby, don’t try to change me if I go to the pen
‘Cuz when the white man lets me go
I’m gonna do the same old thing again

Everything is gonna be alright, sell your dope
Make your money every night
Them brothers around the corner, they wanna start a fight
Sell your dope, keep on hustlin’ till your money’s right

You and your girl argue every night
Sell your dope especially when your pocket’s tight
You can’t find a job ‘cuz your skin ain’t white
Sell your dope brother, you know this world ain’t right

AFROMAN – Sag Your Pants

Let it go
Wha, c’mon
Somebody say heeeyyy
I’m just playin

Before Palmdale, we use to stay
Deep in the hood where they sell yay
I seen a gangbanger walk by real fast
Brand new khakis hangin off his ass
At first, I didn’t like the chump
Cause he looked like he needed to go take a dump
But everybody sag in the hood
Pretty soon, it started lookin good
1987 I started stoppin my mama from doin my school shoppin
Mama, love you right
But these wranglers too dam tight
Stay home, cook something to eat
Daddy, take me to the SWAP meet
Walkin through the SWAP meet with a jerri curl
Tryn to get somethin from the home girl
Joseph, I love you right
But them wranglers is too dam tight
Okay I’m a give you a chance
But first…

[Chorus: x2]
Sag yo pants
Do that gangsta dance

Walk, walk, walk, walkowww

Who invited saggin, take a guess
I don’t know but he from the west
Remember them old school rappers right
Like run dmc, they pants was tight
Don’t get me wrong, I luv N. W.A.
But they wasn’t saggin the right way
Saggin come from the L.A. streets
SWAP meets, old school beats
Move to the suburbs of Palmdale
Kept on saggin hard as hell
Had a cool step, plus a bad rep
Didn’t fit in with the preppy prep
They crack little jokes, look down they nose
But now they smoke weed and wear baggy clothes
Play rap music, dance and drink beer
Shit we been doin for years

[Chorus: x2]
Sag yo pants
Do that gangsta dance

Walk, walk, walk, walkowww

I sag my daddy, I sag my mama
I got to bed and sag my pajama
Sag at home, sag in church
Sag with the homies in the police search
Sag at work, sag at school
Sag in the airport fool
Sag when I stayin, sag when I bail
Sag when I out the county jail
Sag in the SWAP meet, sag in court
Sag when I hop out the super sport
Sag when I’m playin basket ball
“pull yo pants up joey” hell naw
Sag with my kids, sag with my wife
I can’t stop saggin, I’m a sag for life
Fist Palmdale sager, I don’t bang
But I still let, my khakis hang
Sag bold, sag nervous
Sag when I’m doin community service
Sag when I mac, sag when I brawl
I bet ya 20 dollars my pants don’t fall

[Chorus: x2]
Sag yo pants
Do that gangsta dance

Walk, walk, walk, walkowww
Yea, yea
Pull em up, pull em up, pull em down B-CAAA
Ooowww yeeaa
Let me get them size 46, yea B-CAAAA

AFROMAN – Paranoid

Teaspoon! Come here, come here, hey, hey, hey look
Hey go get me two pounds of bud and two ounces of yay
Muthafuckaz at mah house waitin’ right now ‘cuz
Aiight

How long can sell?
(You see life is like football, you know what I’m saying?)
Before I have to go to jail
(You gotta hike the ball and just make something happen man)

Can I possibly get real?
(I mean you know you might get tackled, you know what I’m saying?)
Before somebody go and snitch
(Then again, you might fuck around and make a touch down)

I’m so paranoid, stressed, stressed, paranoid, paranoid
One false move, I can be destroyed
I avoid the cops, I use a decoy
See my motherfuckin’ driver, he’s a white boy

I’m so paranoid, stressed, stressed, paranoid, paranoid
One false move, I can be destroyed
To avoid the cops, I use a decoy
You see my motherfuckin’ driver, he’s a white boy

All my life I did nothin’ but dealin’
Learned to rely on my gut feelin’
Yo name is what? What? I know you from where? Where?
I don’t mean to seem vicious but you look suspicious

Stop talking ’bout drugs on the telephone
Stop walking with a bunch of thugs to my home
Stop fuckin’ up, call me before you come
Stop telling these bitches where you got it from

How long can I sell?
The Sheriff departments right down the block
Before I have to go to jail
Pass my beer so I can swallow this rock

Can I possibly get real?
Pass the tabs the turnakit and syringes
Before somebody go snitch
Before the DEA kick the door of the hinges

I’m so paranoid, stressed, stressed, paranoid, paranoid
One false move I can be destroyed
I avoid the cops I use a decoy
You see my motherfuckin’ driver, he’s a white boy

I’m so paranoid, stressed, stressed, paranoid, paranoid
One false move, I can be destroyed
I avoid the cops, I use a decoy
You see my motherfuckin’ driver, he’s a white boy

As I bail down the street with my khakis creased
Everybody looking at me look like the police
Havin’ conversations with my gang assailants
Do you think, we under police surveillance?

Asking questions giving suggestions
Pulling Smith an’ Wessons on strange pedestrians
Cookin’ crack up, dollar bills stacked up
Hope the cops don’t backup, here they come man

How long, stop runnin’, stop runnin’, can I sell?
The Sheriff department’s right down the block
Before I have to go to jail
Pass my beer so I can swallow this rock

Can I possibly get real?
Hurry up, pass the tabs, turnakit and syringes
Before somebody go and snitch
Before the DEA kick the door off the hinges

Maybe I oughta stop sellin’ water
Spend more time with my son and my daughter
But my drug life drug me away from my wife
She couldn’t deal with the stress and the strife

The cocaine rockin’ and the hood rats jockin’
The late night knockin’ the drive way blockin’
Late at night I fantasize ’bout rappin’
But I gotta sell dope till it happen
For how long?

Hey, who is that, who is that man?
See you all fuckin’ up, I got these looks
Yo man little rich kids comin’ over here
That’s what I’m saying now

You know they gonna snitch, they can’t even lie to their parents
What the fuck you think they gonna do when the police pressure ‘em?
Get to crying and shit, Afroman sold it to me mommy
He stays over there

How long can I sell?
The Sheriff departments right down the block
Before I have to go to jail
Pass my beer so I can swallow this rock

Can I possibly get real?
Pass the tabs the turnakit and syringes
Before somebody go snitch
Before the DEA kick the door of the hinges

I’m so paranoid, now God lay me down to sleep
Before the cops rape, please give me a beat
If they accidently kill me and I don’t escape
Pray some white person, gotta video tape

Twinkle twinkle little little star
That looks like a police car
Shining on my dope spot
A police raid

I hope not
Little little homie hold my gun
I’m gonna fuckin’ run
Where I run, I don’t care

Throw that dope, anywhere
Cops chase me, through the hood
Straight in to the woods camera
Fly like lepord’s

I hear, German Shepards
Freeze, hold it right there
Drug dealers, nightmare
Busted crack, criminal court
No black support

Handcuffs very tight, Baptist jury all white
They could never be my peers, sentence me twenty years
This rap so damn real, I’m glad I gotta record deal
If I don’t sell a mill, this could, could happen still
What a predicament

AFROMAN – O Chronic Tree

Alright, here I go, here I go
[loud coughing]
Check it out!

Chronic Tree, O Chronic Tree
Wit’ yo’ leaves so sticky green
Chronic Tree, O Chronic Tree
So hard to sell, I want you all for me

The bong is smoked this side of town
L.A.P.D. tryna shut me down!
Chronic Tree, O Chronic Tree
Your leaves so green and sticky to me!

On the cover of High Times Magazine
Zig-zags, water bongs for you I fiend
Chronic Tree, O Chronic Tree
So hard to sell, I want you all for me

From Masta Town to the CPT
Can’t wait to pick yo’ stems and seeds.
O chronic tree, O chronic tree
So hard to sell, I want you all for me!

AFROMAN feat. E-40 – What If

if god had long hair, and a go-t,
and if his eyes were pretty glazed,
and he looked spaced out would you buy his story,
would you believe he had an eye infection?

and yeah, yeah, god looks baked
and yeah, yeah, god smells good
and yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
what is god smoked cannabis?
hit the bong like some of us,
drove a tie-die microbus, and he subscribes to rolling stones,

if god made this place in the begging and did he grow any seeds,
or did he put them there for Adam and Eve,
so they’d be hungry for the apple that the snake was always offering

and yeah yeah god rolls great,
and yeah yeah god smells good,
and yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah,
what if god smoked cannabis?
Do you suppose he had a buzz?
When he made the platypus,
he made it earth our home.
Does he like Perljam or the stones?
And do you think he rolls his own,
up there in heaven on the throne?
and when the saints go marching home,
maybe he sits and smokes a bone.

AFROMAN – Missisippi

(Palmdale was like the peak of my life
But Palmdale over with homeboy
I’m fittin to go home ’cause)
Please take me back home (you know what I’m sayin)
To Mississippi
(I got my Greyhound ticket right here man
I’m fittin to go back and kick it with my family ’cause)
Please take me back home (take a couple pounds of this weed)
To Mississippi
(You shmell me homeboy
Yeah, take them fools back to ’82 ’cause)

Before South Central, Palmdale flossin
I stayed in a place called Palmer’s Crossing
Hattiesburg, Mississippi
Smokin marijuana like a Woodstock hippy
All my homies in Laurel
Beg borrow
Buy my rap tape tomorrow
Tell DJ Pumpkin “Keep it crunckin Clyde”?
Request my tape when you go inside
So I can take Jane and girl
To Waynesboro
Fuck their little homegirl
Make her toes curl
Rock their world
Leave with their Auntie Sheryl
She sucks me sucks me
Fucks me fucks me
Cries every time I leave Biloxi
But I hops in the Coup
Cause I gots to go
Scoop another ho
From Tupelo
Hit it once hit it twice, then I hit it again
Hit it in Meridian
Make that bitch rub her clit again
Pinch the nipples on her tit again
Suck my dick until she spit again

Please take me back home (Hell yeah)
To Mississippi
Crooked letter crooked letter hump-back hump-back
Afroman’s the bomb, bump that
Please take me back home (Hell yeah)
To Mississippi
From the delta to the coast
I’m doin the most
Grab your 40 ounce, let’s toast

I sold rock cocaine down in Ellisville
Baseheads hit the pipe, they can tell it’s real
Kept my dope stashed with this hoochie
Way down yonder in East Bouche
Cops be sweatin outta town dog
Sniffin my car with a hound dog
Separate me from my bitch and shit
Tryin to get my bitch to fuckin snitch and shit
Officer Roscoe P. Coltrane
Runnin warrant checks on the Afroman
But I can’t be no hip hop star
Cuffed in the back of some police car
Did you find the gun? NO
Did you find the dope? NO
Open up the back door ???Well son, you’re free to go???
A-F-R-O marijuana cargo
Flossed like a cholow
In a clean low glow
Come on let’s all get drunk tonight
I hope I don’t fight with a punk tonight
Get nervous
As I swerve this
Cadillac through Purvis

Hope I don’t crash when I hit Petal
Get my ass kicked in the white ghetto
Prejudice police won’t let me go
So I’ma drive slow
Hide my fro
I was dumb, now I’m dumber y’all
Last summer y’all
I fucked all the little girls down in Sumrall
Grabbed my guitar and started pickin a tune
For Nikki and June
Down in Picayune, baby
Just like a shovel I be diggin
All the pretty young women in Wiggins
On the boat
Gulfport
I got my dick down some girl’s throat
I can’t help it I’m a Crip baby
I think you need to wipe your lip baby
Hula Hula Hula
The whole house ruler
What’s up with all the bitches down in Pascagoula
Small towns, small cities
But they still got big ole asses plus titties
Is it a bird? Is it a plane?
It’s the hungry hustler Afroman
Flyin through the air in my underwear
Geri curl activator in my hair
I’m in control like Janet when I hit Jackson
Always gettin plenty panty action
McClaine, even McComb
Tell the whole world Mississippi’s your home
Yazoo, Columbia and Natchez
I got the weed brother, who got the matches?
Who got the funky DJ that scratches?
Depend on me like my name was patches
First it was a black thing, just the big Willies
Now I roll Phillies
With all the Hillbillies
Never ever thought I’d see the Klu Klux Klan
Buying front row seats for the Afroman
Confederate flags tobacco in their mouth
It’s a beautiful thing jumpin off in the South
Afroman, I’m a part of it
Hattiesburg hip hop I’m the start of it
I’m the latest
I’m the greatest
And all you haters, I’ll mash you like potatoes
I’ll make your girlfriend holler and scream
Then cook me some cornbread and collard greens

Please take me back home (Hell yeah)
To Mississippi
Crooked letter crooked letter hump-back hump-back
Afroman’s the bomb, bump that
Please take me back home (Hell yeah)
To Mississippi
From the delta to the coast
I’m doin the most
Grab your 40 ounce, let’s toast

1982, ’83, ’84
Erin, Broste, Carlos, and Tonto
Tryin to break dance in my B-Boy stance
Micheal Jackson glove, parachute pants
Calvin Gary, Garnett Jones
G-dog ’cause, I don’t believe we grown
But hey G-dog, you and me’ll see dog
Whatever happens ’cause, it’s you and me dog
Or should I say loc
Cause you my folk
So let’s take a toke
Till we croak
I’m a locsta locsta
Hundred spokesta
Drinking everyday like I’m supposed to
Bottle after bottle dog in my lip-a
Flowing on the mic like the Mississippi river

Please take me back home (Hell yeah)
To Mississippi
Crooked letter crooked letter hump-back hump-back
Afroman’s the bomb, bump that
Please take me back home (Hell yeah)
To Mississippi
From the delta to the coast
I’m doin the most
Grab your 40 ounce, let’s toast

Please take me back home (Hell yeah)
To Mississippi
Crooked letter crooked letter hump-back hump-back
Afroman’s the bomb, bump that
Please take me back home (Hell yeah)
To Mississippi
From the delta to the coast
I’m doin the most
Grab your 40 ounce, let’s toast

AFROMAN – Life Of Tha Party

I’m tha only drunk (uh uh)
dancin to tha funk (uh uh)
I guess it’s up to me (uh uh)
to get this thing crunk
I’m tha life of tha party (uh uh)
sippin on bacardi
I’m tha life of tha party (uh uh)
sippin on bacardi

[verse 1]
Eerybody seem up tight, I’m drunk so everythings allright
Got a light? -yeah- right right
kick back take a hit(take a hit) turn it up bump that shit(bump it)
I’m dancin I’m groovin other people look at me and start movin
everybody getting comfortable starting throwin up nice and full
start dancin wild motherfuckers smile next thing you know
they dincin too smoking weed drinking brew callin people up on their
cellphone east palmdale homeboy its on

[Chorus]
I’m tha only drunk (uh uh)
dancin to tha funk (uh uh)
I guess it’s up to me (uh uh)
to get this thing crunk
I’m tha life of tha party (uh uh)
sippin on bacardi
I’m tha life of tha party (uh uh)
sippin on bacardi

[verse 2]
I’m tha only drunk dancin to tha funk I guess it’s up te me to
get this thing crunk get high get drunk go bizarr standin up
straight is major work drivin home I really hope it
I can keep my eyelids open hope that exotic dancer answer
roll cross country lost with the munchie looking for a country
girl that will hunt me palmdale came back to me got down on her knees
and blew me jumped up on my dick screaming man i love what she do to me

[Chorus]
I’m tha only drunk (uh uh)
dancin to tha funk (uh uh)
I guess it’s up to me (uh uh)
to get this thing crunk
I’m tha life of tha party (uh uh)
sippin on bacardi
I’m tha life of tha party (uh uh)
sippin on bacardi

[verse 3]
Standin in the yard bumpin sounds
see my homeboy in black and shout you blocking traffic back up and
park you know I got a big fat blunt to spark other homeboys start
cruisin by tryin to get drunk tryin to get high sidewalk looks like
a gangstameeting khaki sack it system beating next thing you know
I see a cop he’s writing numbers down he don’t stop wafle house late
at night drunkers are gone highers ar kait fuck with the waitress but
don’t be rude bitch might spit all in my food (hey play that music
innocent folks won’t refuse it) but it in the studio then abuse it
say you got high gentleman excuse it get drunk sag your pants if you
all alone do your dance

[Chorus]
I’m tha only drunk (uh uh)
dancin to tha funk (uh uh)
I guess it’s up to me (uh uh)
to get this thing crunk
I’m tha life of tha party (uh uh)
sippin on bacardi
I’m tha life of tha party (uh uh)
sippin on bacardi

[guitar solo]

AFROMAN – Let’s Get High Tonight

Let’s get drunk today
Let’s get high tonight
Maybe in the morning
Things will be alright

I am living under
So much stress and strife
Sometimes I stop and wonder
How to enjoy my life

Hanging with my homies
Talking jive
Smoking marijuana, drinking Cult 45
Hey homeboy, let’s get drunk today

Let’s get drunk today
Let’s get high tonight
Maybe in the morning
Things will be alright

I am living under
So much stress and strife
Sometimes I stop and wonder
How to enjoy my life

Bumping my music very loud
Limping down the sidewalk so high
Slap my brother, let’s get drunk tonight

Let’s get drunk today
Let’s get high tonight
Maybe in the morning
Things will be alright

I am living under
So much stress and strife
Sometimes I stop and wonder
How to enjoy my life

Now I’m nice and tipsy
And I’m high-igh
Flirting with the ladies
Walking by-ie-ie
Hey pretty lady, let’s hook up tonight

Let’s get drunk today
Let’s get high tonight
Maybe in the morning
Things will be alright

I am living under
So much stress and strife
Sometimes I stop and wonder
How to enjoy my life

Buckaa!