YOUR FAVORITE MARTIAN feat. Dumbfoundead – White Boy Wasted

We’re about to get WHITE BOY WASTED
Your Favorite Martian and Dumbfoundead
Getting crunk up in here!
We’re about to get
WHITE BOY WASTED

We stumble to the house party already buzzed
We get retarded when we start drinking Bacardi because
Getting wasted in the basement is our only obligation
Plus we don’t know the meaning of the word moderation

I’m, I’m crude when I talk
Shirt off, fist fighting every dude on the block
And then I’m hugging you
Like I ain’t gonna see you again
Like dude I freaking love you man!
Imma drunk dial my ex-girlfriend
But first I have to pass out and yack
In the downstairs bathroom
So raise your red cups up and make noise
Cause we drink like
Upper middle class teenage boys.

Oh it’s the weekend
And you know what that means
Oh it means it’s time to party
It’s time to party

White boy, White, White boy wasted [x6]

White boy wasted

Yo, last night I partied up at a frat house
It was full of college kids
Singing along to Smash Mouth
Half of them passed out
A fat dude with his ass out
Looking like John Belushi
In the movie Animal House
All of a sudden somebody yelled out,
Keg stand
Tow jocks with tube socks and sweatbands
They pointed at me
And carried me by my legs man
I had to do it
It probably wasn’t the best plan
Next thing you know
It’s a beer pong and takin Jager shots
Now I’m in the corner and
Throwing up morning tater tots
Pissin on police cars
Yelling out I hate the cops
White boy with dreadlocks
Now give me major props

Oh it’s the weekend
And you know what that means
Oh it means it’s time to party
It’s time to party

White boy, White, White boy wasted [x8]

Oh it’s the weekend
And you know what that means
Oh it means it’s time to party
party

All I want to do
All I want to do is just get
White boy wasted

Oh it’s the weekend
And you know what that means
Oh it means it’s time to party
It’s time to party

YOUR FAVORITE MARTIAN – We Like Them Girls

We like them girls with functioning vaginas
Functioning vaginas
Functioning vagina-ginas

We like them girls with at least two limbs
At least two fuckin’ limbs
And one is a leg – what!

We like them girls who can write their name
Write it on a piece of paper
They can write their name, right

We like them girls with functioning vaginas
Functioning vaginas
Functioning vagina-ginas

I don’t give a damn if a dame is ugly as sin
With a bunch of scruff on her chin
And one functioning limb

She could have a hundred babies
From maybe 80 babies’ daddies
And crazy acne
I don’t need a babe to make me happy

She could be a Russian with a husband
Or even my second cousin
As long as she doesn’t bust on my lovin’
End of discussion

She could be dyslexic
With pits that are wretched
I’ll even have sex if she’s pregnant
As long as her vagina ain’t an arid desert
(Wow)

We like them girls with functioning vaginas
Functioning vaginas
Functioning vagina-ginas

We like them girls who can eat food, eat food
Give ‘em some food and they know what to do next

We like them girls that don’t stab, don’t stab
Don’t stab, don’t stab, don’t stab

We like them girls with functioning vaginas
Functioning vaginas
Functioning vagina-ginas

I need a girl
Who can blow her nose and count her toes
And doesn’t need help puttin’ on her clothes
Walks on the sidewalk, not in the street
Can at least get flip-flops on her feet
A girl that can form real words with her mouth
And color inside the lines
Pass a first grade reading and math test
Don’t gotta do the best

She’s potty trained and don’t mess on the floor
I want her to speak
[Whisper:] But less is more
Know how to think
Know how to blink
Hey girl, whatcha sweatin’ me for?

The type of girl I can take outside
My standards ain’t that high
A girl that can make out shapes
And knows that rain comes from the sky
(Yeah)

We like them girls with functioning vaginas
Functioning vaginas
Functioning vagina-ginas

We like them girls with at least two limbs
At least two fuckin’ limbs
And one is a leg – what!

We like them girls who can write their name
Write it on a piece of paper
They can write their name, right

We like them girls with functioning vaginas
Functioning vaginas
Functioning vagina-ginas

Girl, you could have A.D.D.
(A.D.D.)
But I’ll date you if you know your abc’s
(Hell yeah)
I need a girl

We like them girls with functioning vaginas
Functioning vaginas
Functioning vagina-ginas

We like them girls who can eat food, eat food
Give ‘em some food and they know what to do next

We like them girls that don’t stab, don’t stab
Don’t stab, don’t stab, don’t stab

We like them girls with functioning vaginas
Functioning vaginas
Functioning vagina-ginas

YOUR FAVORITE MARTIAN – Tig ‘Ol Bitties

It was the first day,
Back to school.
Cuttin up in class,
Actin like a tool.

Friends are rollin in,
We started talkin bout the summer.
DJ saw Twilight,
Bummer.

I spoke up,
And I asked my friends,
“Are there any new girls? Nines or tens?”
Hopin a few hotties,
Had moved from other cities,
And in walked this girl,
With Tig ‘Ol Bitties.

WHOO

I can’t believe my eyes.
In a contest they’d win first prize.
Double D, guarantee,
I was checkin the size,
It’s like two beach balls in a shirt disguise.

Or earth and mars,
Havin some fun.
Wait I take that back,
It’s like two of the sun.

But at this point i let my mind run,
And drifted off thinkin bout them Tig ‘Ol Bitties.

Hah, Tig ‘Ol Bitties.

Mount Fuji brought it’s twin.

Tig ‘Ol Bitties.

Two melons in a shirt.

Tig ‘Ol Bitties.
Tig ‘Ol Bitties.

I put books in my lap.

Tig ‘Ol Bitties.

Heads bobbin as she walks.

Tig ‘Ol Bitties.

Oh my god!

Tig ‘Ol Bitties.
Tig ‘Ol Bitties.
T-Tig ‘Ol Bitties.
T-Tig ‘Ol Bitties.
T-Tig ‘Ol Bitties.

Tig ‘Ol Bitties.
T-Tig ‘Ol Bitties.
T-Tig ‘Ol Bitties.
T-Tig ‘Ol Bitties.
Tig ‘Ol Bitties.

Kept trippin in class cuz of her dang breasts in a tiny white shirt,
Boobs havin a fiesta.
Later in lab,
We were messin with test tubes.
Couldn’t keep my eyes off the new girls chest.
BOOBS!

Wasn’t payin attention
Got busted,
Had to serve detention.

In biology,
We talkes about the bees.
The best kinda bees.
BOOB-BEES.

WHOO
Can’t believe my mind,
I hold a pokerface to her two of a kind.
With each step,
Her breasts gettin redefined,
I’m makin my move,
I’m thinkin it’s time.

OH SNAP.
Imma ask her to prom,
And in my head,
She responds “You’re the bomb”
Feelin nervous,
So i count to three.
“I like your boobs. Go to prom with me?”

Hah, Tig ‘Ol Bitties.

King kong boobs.

Tig ‘Ol Bitties.

Great tracks of land.

Tig ‘Ol Bitties.
Tig ‘Ol Bitties.

Like my balls.

Tig ‘Ol Bitties.

Real big.

Tig ‘Ol Bitties.

Oh my god!

Tig ‘Ol Bitties.
T-Tig ‘Ol Bitties.
T-Tig ‘Ol Bitties.
T-Tig ‘Ol Bitties.

Tig ‘Ol Bitties.
T-Tig ‘Ol Bitties.
T-Tig ‘Ol Bitties.
T-Tig ‘Ol Bitties.
Tig ‘Ol Bitties.

She said yes,
So I’m gettin ready.
Stain on my shirt.
Mom’s spaghetti.

I pick her up,
And I’m pretty sure,
That she’ll let me motor-boat like RRRRRRRR

I try to cop a feel once we get to school.
She said “No touching, that’s the rule.”

Principal walks up on the scene,
“It’s time to announce prom king and queen.
Your Favorite Martian and Tig ‘Ol Bitties.
Congratulations to you both on winning.”

Time slowed down and she jumped for joy,
When out of her dress jumped something more.

Tissues flew and rained from the sky.
OH MY GOD YOU STUFF YOUR SHIRT!?
Your Favorite Martian in a world of hurt.

Awwww. Fake ‘Ol Bitties..

WOW!
Fake ‘Ol Bitties.
You breakin my heart with,
Fake ‘Ol Bitties.
You’re crushin my dreams with,
Fake ‘Ol Bitties.
I can’t believable it,
Fake ‘Ol Bitties.
You really suck,
Fake ‘Ol Bitties.
I can’t believe you would do that,
Fake ‘Ol Bitties.

YOUR FAVORITE MARTIAN – The Unofficial Smithers Love Song

Hey, Mr. Burns. You thought your money could buy you the world.
I said hey there, Mr. Burns. I happen to notice that you don’t have a girl.

Smithers loves you, Burns. Why do you ignore him?
You gotta keep up the rapport like it’s too important
Instead of running away, you should move in toward him.
But you keep him at the border like the dude is foreign.
We know you’re straight, dude. I really hate to
Say there’s no way anyone else would date you.
Straight out the gay scene. How do you face him
Knowing he wants to be your Malibu Stacy?

All he ever wanted to do was spend a little time with you.
Hey, Mr. Burns. Hey, Mr. Burns.
You know you’re worth more to him than all the money you spend.
Hey, Mr. Burns. Hey, Mr. Burns.

Hey, Mr. Burns. I’m thinking maybe you should give him a chance.
I said hey there, Mr. Burns. Yeah, so what if he’s a man.

We know you’re blind, old man, but you can hear me talking.
You’re always home alone. You ain’t Macaulay Culkin.
You ain’t a Flintstone. Pay no mind
To the fact that Smithers wants to have a gay old time.
And while relationships have their twists and turns,
You know he’ll never leave you. Don’t you, Mr. Burns.
So you should give him a shot, and maybe help the guy,
And you can make relations Santa’s Little Helper style.

All he ever wanted to do was spend a little time with you.
Hey, Mr. Burns. Hey, Mr. Burns.
You know you’re worth more to him than all the money you spend.
Hey, Mr. Burns. Hey, Mr. Burns

YOUR FAVORITE MARTIAN – The Stereotypes Song

You know, I always thought stereotypes were kinda ridiculous.
So I wrote a song about it,
And it goes a little something like this.

I think I love you more than the
Japanese love tentacle porn,
And we should dance dance dance d-d-dance to these stereotypes.
Let’s come together and live in this world like a unibrow on an Indian girl,
And we should dance dance dance d-d-dance to these stereotypes.

Check it out now.
I love those fat Americans.
You know they so obnoxious.
They always eating burgers.
They always holding shotguns.
And I love Mexicans.
The way they mow my lawn.
They all got a 100 kids ’cause they don’t know how to put a condom on.
Uh huh.
‘Cause that’s the way they roll.
Ya gotta go big like an Israeli nose.
If you ever buy a pint for an Irish guy,
And they’re out of control like a Chinese driver.

I love the Middle East, but how do they handle
Rockin’ burkas while they’re riding camels.
I love Jamaicans. Yeah, they cool, but they’re always high, so don’t let them fool ya.
Ya mon.
And I love them Puerto Ricans,
Even though they wash their ass about once a week and,
I’m just joking.
If you didn’t know then
You’re a little slow and you’re probably from Poland.

I think I love you more than the
Japanese love tentacle porn,
And we should dance dance dance d-d-dance to these stereotypes.
Let’s come together and live in this world like a unibrow on an Indian girl,
And we should dance dance dance d-d-dance to these stereotypes.

Aw yeah! Let me hear you yell
If you love the Outback redneck Australians,
And the crooked ass teeth of an English dude
And those creepy Italians who think they’re smooth.
Mamma mia!
And how could anyone hate the French.
Yeah, I know their hairy women don’t shave their pits.
Brazilian girls is what you want,
Walking around town with that ba-dunk-a-dunk.

I love Africans, but hold up a second.
National Geographic says they’re all butt-nekkid.
Breasts hanging low. What have they done with their clothes?
They’ve disappeared like coke up a Colombian’s nose.
Uh oh! You’re all on my checklist,
Even Russian guys who drink Vodka for breakfast.
They’re stereotypes, and if you believe them,
Then your brain is small like a Korean penis.

I think I love you more than the
Japanese love tentacle porn,
And we should dance dance dance d-d-dance to these stereotypes.
Let’s come together and live in this world like a unibrow on an Indian girl,
And we should dance dance dance d-d-dance to these stereotypes.

All together now!
I love Scotsmen, though they hump sheep.
[repeat 4x]
They hump sheep [repeat 3x]

I think I love you more than the
Japanese love tentacle porn,
And we should dance dance dance d-d-dance to these stereotypes.
Let’s come together and live in this world like a unibrow on an Indian girl,
And we should dance dance dance dance dance to these stereotypes.

Yeah. I’m just playing, you know I love you guys.
But seriously, don’t hump any sheep.

YOUR FAVORITE MARTIAN – Text Me Back

I’m checking out your Facebook
I drive past where you work
You tell me you’re my girlfriend
But are you even on planet earth?
I see you out with your friends but
Yo who the hell is that dude?
You’re not playing with me are you girl?
Well hell, I wouldn’t put it past you
I hate that you just won’t text me
You say you’re out with Becky
Why you dress so sexy
I check my text every five seconds obsessing
That you’re in another dude’s bedroom undressing.

He’s got you pressed on your back
It’s a wrestling match
Well anything he’s good at
I’m the best at that
My heart was broken
I was hoping it would be left in tact
So please let’s just chat
Just text me back!

I wasn’t crazy
I wasn’t crazy
I wasn’t crazy
Until I met you
Crazy
I wasn’t crazy
Until I met you

I refresh your Facebook
Analyze all your wall posts
Why’d you leave a smiley face on that one dude’s page
Or whatever you call those
The fact that you flirt with
That dirty rat that you work with
I feel the love boat sinking
I’m trying to bring it back to the surface
Why do you keep pictures of your ex around?
You think he’s better than me?
Why you letting me drown?
In my own imagination
That I face when I’m alone
I’m going to wait until you sleep
And then I’m going through your phone
‘Cause I don’t believe you when you tell me
He’s only a friend
I’m not possessive, I’m depressed
You let me feel lonely again
So I’m sitting in my bedroom checkin’ your Facebook
Checkin you’re Facebook
Text me back!

I wasn’t crazy
I wasn’t crazy
I wasn’t crazy
Until I met you
Crazy
I wasn’t crazy
Until I met you
I wasn’t crazy
I wasn’t crazy
I wasn’t crazy
Until I met you

I had a dream that I killed you
I’m not certain what it means
I didn’t say that I would do it
I said it was a dream
Anger is the lone emotion flowing through my veins
Knowing you I may spend the night
Going through some pain
Call me insane call me obsessed
The fact remains that I will rage
Unless you text me back!

I wasn’t crazy
I wasn’t crazy
I wasn’t crazy
Until I met you
I wasn’t crazy
Until I met you

I wasn’t crazy
Until I met you

I wasn’t crazy
Until I met you

I wasn’t crazy
I wasn’t crazy
I wasn’t crazy
Until I met you

YOUR FAVORITE MARTIAN – Take Over The World

My grandmama used to tell me one day I would be king
And that it would be me to but these dreams into a sling
And fling ‘em like a bullet ’til they beam the whole ruling regime
in the melon. Then I tell ‘em that I’ll one day reign supreme
But it seems, I’m a damn salmon swimming upstream.
I scream ’cause I know just why the caged bird sings.
I’ll adorn the king’s throne, wear his treasure with pleasure,
‘Cause this job is temporary, success is forever.

Workin’ every week at a job I can’t stand.
I always tell myself that one day I’ll be the man.
What’re we gonna do tonight, Brain?
We’re gonna take over the world.

Imma shoot straight for the stars in my rocket.
No time on the clock. I’m gonna stop it. Kryptonite in my pocket
for all the cynical Supermen, surrounding me, crowding me,
shrouding me with doubt. They don’t how to be proud of me.
‘Cause one day I’m gonna run this town
And when I seize the crown. It’s gonna please the crowd.
My hands and feet were bound to the ground, at least ’til now
’cause this job is like a prison, but the beast is out.

RAWR!

I’m not just chasin’ these dreams.
I’m hiding out in the bushes, and then I wait ’til they leave
and jump out and pistol-whip ‘em with my loaded ambition.
I’m not gonna front. I’m Ethan Hunt on this Impossible Mission.
Listen! This ain’t a game of Risk in the kitchen.
I’m Stewie Griffin in this bitch, and I just flipped the ignition
on a click of robotic ninjas designed to kick my competition
in the face. I swear to god one day I’ll run this place.

Workin’ every week at a job I can’t stand.
I always tell myself that one day I’ll be the man.
What’re we gonna do tonight, Brain?
We’re gonna take over the world.

Once I quit this job, then I’ll be free.
I’ve got greater plans. Wait and see.
I’m gonna rise to the top, take over everything.
Some day my boss will work for me,
and one day I’ll be king.

Workin’ every week at a job I can’t stand.
I always tell myself that one day I’ll be the man.
What’re we gonna do tonight, Brain?
We’re gonna take over the world.

YOUR FAVORITE MARTIAN feat. Mike Posner – She Looks Like Sex (Remix)

She looks like sex, sex, sex, sex
She looks like sex, sex, sex, sex
She looks like sex, sex, sex, sex
Sex

Sex, sex
She looks like sex
Sex, sex
Oo-ooh

She looks like sex
Maybe not yet, but don’t fret
I bet if you get drunk suddenly you’ll be dead set
On getting it in
You mess with the gin
And you’ll end up convinced you had sex with a 10
So full throttle
Order another bottle
And shot after shot will ransform her into a model
Mike posner on the refrain
‘Cause you know beer goggles are hell of a thing

That ass makes me wanna oo-ooh
You know exactly what you do
How I’d really like to take that home
Everybody here knows…

She looks like sex, sex, sex, sex [4x]
She looks like

When I crack a six pack and chase it with patron
Every girl looks like catherine zeta jones
So I show up to the club, and I stand at the door
Waiting on the perfect girl whose standards are low
I take jameson and take it with no shame
And change any dame to jenna jameson
Mike posner on the refrain
‘Cause you know beer goggles are hell of a thing

That ass makes me wanna oo-ooh
You know exactly what you do
How I’d really like to take that home
Everybody here knows…

She looks like sex, sex, sex, sex [8x]
She looks like

Break it down

Sex sex
She looks…
Sex
Sex sex
Sex sex
She looks like sex
Sex, sex
She looks like sex

YOUR FAVORITE MARTIAN feat. Wax – Orphan Tears

It was a weekend, and you can’t stop
Us from going to the local dance spot.
Instead of drinking imported beers,
Somebody brought a bottle of Orphan Tears.

We popped the top. We know what was in it.
Yeah, we were all so stupid to sip it.
Orphan Tears are so hallucinogenic.
I took one drink and saw a two-headed midget.

Then the room filled with colors and shapes,
And suddenly DeeJay was covered in snakes.
Oh snap! And what made it worse
Is I swear I saw a unicorn humping a smurf.

Then a rainbow appeared out of Wax’s ass.
He passed some gas and it snapped in half.
Yo Deejay! Are you still there?
Yeah, I’m trying to hook up with this girl in a wheelchair.

Alright. Chill there. I think a bulimic
Carebear might pick a fight with Jesus.
I don’t believe it. I’m gonna be sea sick.
These Orphan Tears are about to make me trip.

Little children, near and far
Don’t know where your parents are.
Cry directly in this jar.
I will drink it at the bar.
Sip sippin’ on Orphan Tears.
Sip sip sippin’ on Orphan Tears.
Sip sippin’ on, sip sip sippin’ on
Sip sip sippin’ on Orphan Tears.

These Orphan Tears got me feeling like I ain’t felt before.
I tried to bust-a-move but fell asleep on the dance floor.
(DeeJay falls asleep and snores)
I swear I saw Bill Cosby like, “Hello with the pudding!”
He was dancing in his underwear showing off his woody.

I ran to the bathroom. Everything’s in slow mo.
I couldn’t throw up, because the toilet bowl called me a homo.
I barfed up a kitten, and I’m feeling strange.
Sippin’ these Orphan Tears, now it’s got me seeing things.

Little children, near and far
Don’t know where your parents are.
Cry directly in this jar.
I will drink it at the bar.
Sip sippin’ on Orphan Tears.
Sip sip sippin’ on Orphan Tears.
Sip sippin’ on, sip sip sippin’ on
Sip sip sippin’ on Orphan Tears.

All up in the VIP section, straight relaxed.
The DJ playing my favorite tracks.
Waitress asked, what can I bring you.
I said the most expensive thing on the menu.

She came back with a glass of liquid.
I said, I asked for something different.
This looks like a normal beer.
She said, no it’s Orphan Tears.

Took a swig. Then I walked down where the dance floor is,
Whole club looking like a forest.
DeeJay turned into a brontosaurus.
Everybody in the club looked like Chuck Norris.

I tried to run to the bathroom but when
I did I felt a vacuum suction.
Pulling me back slow
Dance floor turned into a black hole.

Spinning around horribly.
Feeling like Dorothy.
Woke up and was still at home.
Orphan Tears got us in the zone.

Little children, near and far
Don’t know where your parents are.
Cry directly in this jar.
I will drink it at the bar.
Sip sippin’ on Orphan Tears.
Sip sip sippin’ on Orphan Tears.
Sip sippin’ on, sip sip sippin’ on
Sip sip sippin’ on Orphan Tears.
[x2]

YOUR FAVORITE MARTIAN – My Balls

Girl, I know you left me
But there was something I forgot to show you.

Check it out..

Baby girl, you left me. Oh no! We broke up.
It’s been a while since we last spoke, but
I need another chance. Can you give me that?
‘Cause there’s something in my pants that’ll win you back.

I wanna be your man again,
But you left me like I’m Jennifer Aniston.
And I know you said you’d never call,
But girl, you ain’t seen my balls.

You-you-you-you ain’t seen my balls.
[repeat]

My balls are so awesome. Don’t get me started.
They’re so damn big. How big are they?
They’re so big. It’s really obnoxious.
It’s like two ewoks chillin’ in my boxers.
They’re so big. I can’t hold ‘em back.
Even Cartman’s like, man those are fat.
They’re so big. They’re run over your feet.
That’s why when they back up you hear a beep beep.

And how can I be subtle,
When my balls chase Indiana Jones through a tunnel?
And everyone at Disney World keeps telling me
That Epcot Center looks at ‘em with jealousy.
In fact, when you see ‘em on the street they’ll
Fight Godzilla to the death in the sequel.

I’m guessing soon you’ll be hoping I’m back,
‘Cause my balls are so big they’ve got an opening act.

You-you-you-you ain’t seen my balls.
[repeat]

My balls are so epic, and I ain’t boastin’,
But they have an effect on the tides in the ocean.
And when the sun’s right, it might cause
A total solar eclipse of my balls.
‘Cause these things are where it’s happenin’,
And when I whip ‘em out you’ll take me back again.
Should I compare ‘em to a brontosaurus?
No, excuse me I’m on the chorus.

I got what you need.
And you’d said you’d never call,
But girl you ain’t seen these balls.

I wanna be your man again,
But you left me like I’m Jennifer Aniston.
And I know you said you’d never call,
But girl, you ain’t seen my balls.

You-you-you-you ain’t seen my balls.
[repeat]

I told you you’d be back.
You must’ve forgot.
You must’ve had Ballzheimer’s

YOUR FAVORITE MARTIAN – Mr. DoucheBag

You’re a douchebag, do-douchebag do-do-do-do-do-douchebag.
You’re a douchebag, do-douchebag do-do-do-do-do-douchebag.

Hey Mr. DoucheBag, why’s your ego so massive?
You know it’s 2 AM and it’s dark outside.
You don’t need those sunglasses.
Yeah we all remember that hot chick
You hooked up with once
Ccause you went on to brag about it for months and months.

Yeah we all get that you think it’s impressive
But ain’t nobody impressed with how much you’re bench pressing.
Buying Smirnoff Ice for girls half your age,
Telling all your douchebag friends that you “still got game.”

Dear Mr. DoucheBag.
We all agree that you are a dumbass.
Why can’t you see that!

You’re a douchebag, do-douchebag do-do-do-do-do-douchebag.
You’re a douchebag, do-douchebag do-do-do-do-do-douchebag.

Dear Mr. DoucheBag
Do you find it necessary to shout into your Bluetooth
Or boast about high school rugby
“And I would have went pro if it weren’t for my bum knee”.

And why you got to complain every single time you’re not getting laid.
You douchebags are a lot of the same.
“Dude let’s go. This place is full of grenades”
Always trying to look cool, like it’s a full time career.
That’s why your Facebook pic shows you chugging a beer.
Got your gold chain and your wife-beater on
So you can fist pump your way to the tanning salon.

Dear Mr. DoucheBag.
We all agree that you are a dumbass.
Why can’t you see that!

You’re a douchebag, do-douchebag do-do-do-do-do-douchebag.
You’re a douchebag, do-douchebag do-do-do-do-do-douchebag.

Inconsiderate, ignorant
You drink you get belligerent,
You think anybody finds you amusing?
No, no, no. Not even a little bit.
You always find a way to stop all the fun
Like, when you scream “party foul” at the top of your lungs.

Dear Mr. DoucheBag,
I caught you bragging again.
Trust me man, nobody gives a damn what frat you were in.
You claim you hang with celebrities when you don’t know any at all.
“But dude I’m totally banging George Clooney’s sister in law.”

No you’re not — come on.

Dear Mr. DoucheBag.
We all agree that you are a dumbass.
Why can’t you see that!

You’re a douchebag, do-douchebag do-do-do-do-do-douchebag.
You’re a douchebag, do-douchebag do-do-do-do-do-douchebag.

Hitting on other girls when yours is in the room.
You’re a douchebag do-douchebag do-do-do-do-do-douche bag

Walking in the club grabbing all on your junk.
You’re a douchebag do-douchebag do-do-do-do-do-douche bag

Refusing to let go when she says no.
You’re a douchebag do-douchebag do-do-do-do-do-douche bag

Cut me off in traffic then flipping me the bird
You’re a douchebag do-douchebag do-do-do-do-do-douche bag

“Dude it’s George Clooney’s sister in law, I swear,
Come on, where the hell is my protein shake?”

YOUR FAVORITE MARTIAN – Jupiter

There’s nothing left to say
I’m not with you
You lie so far away from the truth

Jupiter you’re on my mind
The clock will turn the gears of time
I only wanna be with you
Symmetry can lean askew

It’s gripping on my mind
I’ll stay impossible to define while you’re away

There’s still nothing to say
I’m not with you
Sometimes the path least traveled is the avenue

The stranger in your life you thought you knew
How can I be yellow and still so blue?
I’m blue

Jupiter you’re on my mind
The clock will turn the gears of time
I only wanna be with you
Symmetry can lean askew

It’s gripping on my mind
I’ll stay impossible to define while you’re away, you’re away

Jupiter you’re on my mind
The clock will turn the gears of time
I only wanna be with you
Symmetry can lean askew

YOUR FAVORITE MARTIAN – Grandma Got A Facebook

Grandma’s got a Facebook, now she’s hitting on my friends.
Don’t care how it started, but now it’s got to end.
Help me stay connected to my uncles and my aunts,
But I also know she’s been in my best friend’s pants.

Grandma, Grandma [4x]
Gr-Gr-Grandma Grandma
Grandma, Grandma [3x]

Well, ever since grandpa passed away, she’s been chilling at home.
Watching soaps half the day ’cause she’s feeling alone.
So, I set her up a Facebook and gave the address.
To my friends and I asked them all to send a request.
And no one would have guessed one day she’d go wild,
But grandma got obsessed and changed her profile to slutty McButtSex
And I was appalled when I saw a bunch of pictures of her cleavage on her wall.

Grandma’s got a Facebook, now she’s hitting on my friends.
Don’t care how it started, but now it’s got to end.
Help me stay connected to my uncles and my aunts,
But I also know she’s been in my best friend’s pants.

Grandma, Grandma [4x]
Gr-Gr-Grandma Grandma
Grandma, Grandma [3x]

Then she updated her status yeah, and it made me pissed
Cause she said her grandson was a crybaby bitch!
And all my stupid friends wrote her back and they laughed.
And they all liked her comment cause they’re wack and I’m mad.
Is this considered abuse, yeah you’d be pissed at her too
Cause now her list to do’s is just pictures of dudes.
I wanted her to make friends but she’s about to seduce.
My homeboys with a mixture of vodka and prune juice.

Grandma’s got a Facebook, now she’s hitting on my friends.
Don’t care how it started, but now it’s got to end.
Help me stay connected to my uncles and my aunts,
But I also know she’s been in my best friend’s pants.

Grandma, Grandma [4x]
Gr-Gr-Grandma Grandma
Grandma, Grandma [3x]

I checked my Facebook daily.
I get a friend request from this old ass lady.
I know it’s your grandma, but I ain’t gonna lie.
She’s rocking that muu muu, and looking all fly.
I want to smack your grandma on her wrinkly ass
Wrinkly ass, wrinkly ass!
I want to smack your grandma on her wrinkly ass
Wrinkly ass, wrinkly ass!

Butterscotch my balls
Me and your grandma sharing a sponge bath
I want to put my hands in your grandma’s candy dish.

Grandma’s got a Facebook, now she’s hitting on my friends.
Don’t care how it started, but now it’s got to end.
Help me stay connected to my uncles and my aunts,
But I also know she’s been in my best friend’s pants.

Grandma, Grandma [4x]
Gr-Gr-Grandma Grandma
Grandma, Grandma [3x]

YOUR FAVORITE MARTIAN feat. Destorm – Fight To Win

Every day day and every night night
I am gonna fight fight fight to win
(We’re kickin’ ass now)
Every day day and every night night
I am gonna fight fight fight to win
(We bring the house down)
Every day day and every night night
I am gonna fight fight fight to win
(We crush our enemies)
Every day day and every night night
I am gonna fight fight to win
(We bringin’ to their knees)

I step in the arena
I get my knuckles crackin’
I try to keep it clean
But who knows what could happen
I see a long row, an ensemble
Of the best fighters from a combo of consoles

First came Ryu, a guy who cries (Hadouken!)
As he tries to fight you
I decked the dude in his chest
Just before I shocked Blanka
When I kicked the fool directly in his testicles
Sub-Zero felt the need to freeze me
Exsqueeze me?
That’s cheesy
His ass left bleeding
I Falcon Punched Captain Falcon
Just as I Super Smashed Mario up in his mustache
Panda gets up in my face and I’m thinking
That I’ma have to beat him
‘Til he’s pleadin’ for extinction
Leavin’ knuckle imprints on his eyelids
And I ain’t sayin’ video games make me violet
But..

Every day day and every night night
I am gonna fight fight fight to win
(We’re kickin’ ass now)
Every day day and every night night
I am gonna fight fight fight to win
(We bring the house down)
Every day day and every night night
I am gonna fight fight fight to win
(We crush our enemies)
Every day day and every night night
I am gonna fight fight to win
(We bringin’ to their knees)

C-c-c-c-combo breaker!
Awww. I think I’m hit bad
Life bar almost depleted

[DeStorm]
Tag and I’m glad that you passed it to me
Which one of the cowards
Wanna bring the beef?
If you wanna harm me, better bring an army
Step in my way and I’m smashing your feet
Throw the knife. Pass it to me
I’ma slash Jin down to the white meat
Then I’m calling out Ken
(Let’s take it to the streets)
Then I’m breaking his back and I’m breaking his teeth
And my Chun-Li kick gotcha taking a seat
Kasumi did I catch you at a bad time?
You can try to run but your ass mine
Flatline!
Now that her ass is dying over there
I’m goin’ after Kuma the Bear
Beat ya ’till you look like Yogi the Bear
Using my bare hands holding your hair
Where Scorpion at?
I’ma cause him harm
Death to Ayane though she a bomb
Hit her with a bomb
Whole lot of bombs
Bombs she the bomb
Bomb bomb bomb bomb
Heihachi came from Tekken trying to step into the game
But I couldn’t pronounce his name
So I put my weapon through his chest frame
Ripped out Lizardman’s tongue
He’s dumb with silence
And I ain’t saying video games make me violent
But..

Every day day and every night night
I am gonna fight fight fight to win
(We’re kickin’ ass now)
Every day day and every night night
I am gonna fight fight fight to win
(We bring the house down)
Every day day and every night night
I am gonna fight fight fight to win
(We crush our enemies)
Every day day and every night night
I am gonna fight fight to win
(We bringin’ to their knees)

Ain’t nothing like whippin’ your ass (whippin’ your ass)
‘Cause I love whippin’ your ass (I love ass)
Ain’t nothing like whippin’ your ass (whippin’ your ass)
‘Cause I love whippin’ your,

I step back to the arena bringin’ death
Who doubted me?
I’m ripping out Nightmare’s spine (Fatality!)
The crowd cheers, shocked then silent
I ain’t sayin’ video games make me violent
But..

Every day day and every night night
I am gonna fight fight fight to win
(We’re using cheat codes)
Every day day and every night night
I am gonna fight fight fight to win
(Our thumbs are bleeding now!)
Every day day and every night night
I am gonna fight fight fight to win
(We’re stuck up in our rooms!)
Every day day and every night night
I am gonna fight fight to win
(We never rage quit!)

YOUR FAVORITE MARTIAN – Zombie Love Song

You don’t know me, baby, but I’ve seen you around.
It might be kind of crazy, but I’m just new in town.
And now I wonder what you’d think if I said, hey look
I’d like to get your number and a link to your Facebook.
Now if I tell you what a nice guy’s supposed to
Would that compel you not to scream when I approach you?
You’ll have to promise me you’ll take this news calmly,
But honestly, I’m sort of a zombie.

I knew you’d be surprised. You can bet that I
May not be alive, but I sure as hell ain’t dead inside.
What’s with the shotty? I ain’t wishing you harm.
You see, I’d try to hold your hand but I’m missing an arm.
Brains are all I’ve eaten all week it’s true,
But if my heart were still beating, it would beat for you.
So let me take you to Wendy’s. You deserve it.
Yeah, I’m a zombie, baby. Ain’t nobody perfect.

I’ll chase you through the yard and all through the house into the dark.
I wanna steal your heart and eat your brains.
I’ve never been so true, but if my heart were still beating, it would beat for you.
I wanna steal your heart and eat your brains.

Baby, sometimes I bite, and you can bet
That I’ve got an appetite for human flesh.
I’ll always be near though. You’ll have to accept that
When I nibble on your earlobe you might get infected.
Cause I fell in love with you and I’m

Undead but you make me feel alive.
And when I chase you through the graveyard
It feels like foreplay.

If I’m lying I’m dying, and I speak truly
When I say I love your mind. I’ll take brains over beauty.
We’ll be the undead Dagwood and Blondie
When I teach you how to zombie, teach you, teach you how to zombie.
And everybody will love you, and you can sing along
To this post-apocalyptic, postmortem love song.
So give me a chance,girl. You know I’ll be worth it.
Yeah, I’m a zombie, baby. Ain’t nobody perfect.

I’ll chase you through the yard and all through the house into the dark.
I wanna steal your heart and eat your brains.
I’ve never been so true, but if my heart were still beating, it would beat for you.
I wanna steal your heart and eat your brains.

Brains. Brains. Brains. Brains.
Brains. Brains.

I’ll chase you through the yard and all through the house into the dark.
I wanna steal your heart and eat your brains.
I’ve never been so true, but if my heart were still beating, it would beat for you.
I wanna steal your heart and eat your brains.

YOUR FAVORITE MARTIAN – Club Villain

It was a Friday night and I wanted to go out to a brand new club in town,
a discotheque I’d heard about through a friend of mine, who told me the place was a circus act for sure,
and then we rolled up and saw Koopa working at the door!
He waved us in and we randomly met the Mr. Hannibal Lector; he was handling records in the DJ booth,
asking which was the best selection to make an impression on the Wicked Witch of the West.
And the Witch was booty-dancin’ with Manson and Gannon, right next to Side Show Bob being shot from Blackbeard’s cannon.
That’s when I knew that tonight I’d be chillin’ up in the dance club, partying with all these villains.

I can’t keep partying ’round. Keep partying ’round. Keep partying, partying, partying.
I can’t keep partying ’round. Keep partying ’round. Keep partying with all these villains.
All these villains. All these villains. All these villains. All these villains.

Catwoman and Harley Quinn, I swear I saw those hoes kiss, I laughed at Jason Voorhees rockin’ glowsticks.
And Dr. Octopus was also getting physical with Ursula; the two were making out and touching tentacles.
Then Voldemort greeted Vader with a fist pound; they were checking out Mystique’s ass next to Chris Brown.

CHRIS BROWN??? Somebody needs to throw that guy out of the club, seriously!

And Megatron, he was getting it on, he was drawing a crowd, and they were calling out loud like:
“Go Megatron! Go Megatron! Go Megatron! Go Megatron! Go Megatron! Go Megatron! Go! Go! Go! Go!”
I looked up and saw Venom doing Jager Bombs on the ceiling. That’s when I knew that I’d be partying with all these villains.

I can’t keep partying ’round. Keep partying ’round. Keep partying, partying, partying.
I can’t keep partying ’round. Keep partying ’round. Keep partying with all these villains.
All these villains. All these villains. All these villains. All these villains.

That’s when I saw her there, from across the room: Poison Ivy doing Jell-o shots with Dr. Doom.
Like the Eye of Sauron, I couldn’t look away. And she was with some Joker – the dude was probably gay.
And Patrick Bateman passed us shots of vodka, me and Jabba tossed them back like “Oooga chaca!”
I pushed Elmer Fudd out of the way, so that I could get closer, and I don’t mean to be a Predator, but I got to get at her.
Freddy used his claws to open up chardonnay, I grabbed a glass and walked up to her like “Yo, pardon me.”
I took her home, and she and I spent the night chillin’ up in the bedroom partying with one hot-ass villain.

I can’t keep partying ’round. Keep partying ’round. Keep partying, partying, partying.
I can’t keep partying ’round. Keep partying ’round. Keep partying with all these villains.
All these villains. All these villains. All these villains. All these villains.

YOUR FAVORITE MARTIAN – Bitch Got A Penis

Bitch got a penis

Who’s got a penis?
Bitch got a penis.

Got a penis, got a penis.
Bitch got a penis, got a penis.

YOUR FAVORITE MARTIAN – Alien

Have you ever felt left out of the group, excluded?
Given the boot when you knew you should have been a shoo-in?
Like some ancient Druid was pursuant to ruin your life
With a curse but worse, he brought his whole damn crew in.
And now it’s high noon and you’re a target to shoot at
This school’s a battlefield, no wonder you’re truant!
They always look at you and they boo at what you’re doing
And you go off like a bomb at the Olympics in Munich.

Nah, you’re just an extraterrestrial
Less than respectable
You’ll never get to get the girl
You’re just a jester at the festival
I guess it’s acceptable
To peg your head with vegetables
And kick you in the testicles
And best of all let you know that you’re a filthy dog
And you’ll never be best in show.

So why the abuse?
‘Cause all a bully needs is a fucking excuse!

[Chorus]
Planet Earth I need a friend
‘Cause I’m on the outside looking in
I’m an Alien
I’m just an Alien
Feeling lost but never found
‘Til I found myself being pushed around
I’m an Alien
Yes, I’m an Alien.

I’ma be honest, it gets better I promise
So don’t let them ground you down to a pound of sawdust
Stay on the stage the longest ’til the gong hits
And everybody comments on their fondness
Of your polish and your overall knowledge
Remain calmest and abolish your modesty
‘Cause honestly you got to be positive
You’re a prodigy!
You show the world that you’re not to mess with
It’s a broken home that makes these bastards aggressive
You can expect to get rejected
Neglected, stripped naked, and tested ’til they reckon
You feel terrible because nothing is comparable
Violence ain’t the answer but the pain is unbearable
You’re nice and jaded from being isolated
Now you coast through life feeling twice as hated.

So why the abuse?
‘Cause all a bully needs is a fucking excuse!

[Chorus]

Axel on the drums!

Run!

Well,

[Chorus]

No Ohhh!
I’m an Alien
Yes, I’m an Alien
Ohhh

YOUR FAVORITE MARTIAN – Complicated

Babe, you’re so complicated
The way you’re putting me down
And when we go out with your friends
You act like you don’t want me around
And I get so frustrated
How everything ends in a fight
Why bring out a candle
When you don’t even care to see the light

And every time you make me cry
Every time you make me cry
And every time you make me cry
I love you a little bit more
And every time we start to fight
We never seem to get it right
And every time you make me cry
I love you a little bit more

Baby, we’re so complicated
Took a good thing and turn it around
I scream so loudly
And you pretend not to hear the sound
I get so frustrated
I feel like you crossed the line
Sometimes you love me
And sometimes you act like you don’t have the time

I’m ready to give up then you remind me why I even started loving you
It’s the hardest thing I ever had to do
And I get so frustrated
How everything ends in a fight
And then you tell me you love me
Then change your mind by the end of the night

And every time you make me cry
Every time you make me cry
And every time you make me cry
I love you a little bit more
And every time we start to fight
We never seem to get it right
And every time you make me cry
I love you a little bit more

You’re so complicated
I must made an abrupt statement
I just hate it your lust faded
I’m frustrated
I’m suffocating cause you’re choking me blue
You push me off the edge and now I’m broken in two
Well half of me decided not to recognize your lies
And the other half of me just wants a moment of truth
My emotions are through
Twisted like the chains of a park swing
Cause you’re a puppeteer pulling on my heart strings
You’re an alien mothership with a tractor beam
Pullin’ me, tractin’ me back into this catastrophe
I put Novocaine on my soul again
But still the pain hurts, let me clarify exactly how my brain works
I love you and I hate you
I love you but I hate you
I love you but I hate you
I wanna leave but I’ll be back I’m sure
But every time you make me cry I love you that much more

And every time you make me cry
And every time you make me cry
And every time you make me cry
I love you a little bit more
And every time we start to fight
We never seem to get it right
And every time you make me cry
I love you a little bit more

And every time you make me cry
And every time you make me cry
Every time you make me cry
I love you a little bit more
And every time we start to fight
We never seem to get it right
Every time you make me cry
I love you a little bit more

And every time we start to fight
We never seem to get it right
It always comes back to now
You’re so complicated