THE MIDNIGHT BEAST – The Return Of The Boyband

It’s the return of the boyband
Dressed up with a brand new look
It’s the return of the lip-pout
Ripped straight out a boyband book

It’s the return of the boyband
Right here in the USA
Say hi to your new favourite boyband
And we’re doing A-OK

We never Wanted to ever sell our soul to the devil
But we’re gonna have to N-Sync down to your level
Ticket to the states, sold a band for ransom
But we couldn’t get a show cause we’re not that Hanson…
I mean handsome… ALL-4-1, Boys 2 Men, Take That
It’s One Direction …to Hollywood Hills, girls shake your thing
But we’ve touched less tits than a purity ring

…First day, couldn’t cope with the heat
Mindless Behaviour trying’ to stand up on my feet
Had a Big Time Rush to the toilet seat
Puked a big time mush as I recorded a beat
Timberland mixed my beat, with one of his farts
…Drake did some spitting on a few of the bars
…Now I’m rolling in expensive cars
Before I knew it, my vomit reached the top of the charts

It’s the return of the boyband
Make way for the vocal trills
It’s the return of the harmony
Please stop, ’cause you make me ill

It’s the return of the boyband
Right here in the USA
Say hi to your new favourite boyband
And we’re doing A-OK

50 percent of the new Boybands, are Brits
And we got the crooked teeth to show it
Bundled back home on a plane for free
‘Cuz we lippy like Angelina Jolie
Fame’s a mirage, unlike Entourage
…Our future’s got more bumps than Nicki Minaj
…Our future’s had more humps than the Jersey Shore cast
We did it all for the Snooki

So you could take that cookie, and stick it up your rectum
If you’re miming guitar, than you should use a plectrum
Wanna be something, wanna be someone
But the only plaque you’ll be getting’s on your teeth son
I’m not that fond of the A-list clubs
‘Cuz they got more dicks than chat-roulette does
Fames a strange thing, you’re down and homeless
…Then playing Strip-Twister with Selena Gomez

It’s the return of the boyband
Don’t eat ‘cuz you can’t get fat
It’s the return of the dancemove
Say hi to a baseball bat

It’s the return of the boyband
Right here in the USA
Say hi to your new favourite boyband
And we’re doing A-OK

I had a vision when I got off the plane
There’d be a driver holding my name (Ash)
Have a limousine, packed full of beauty queens
A booby pillow with my head in-between

In a hybrid, with an A-List
And I could kiss her on the lips if she insist
And I could play a bass solo on the Hollywood sign
And Obama would be there with an Ashley shrine

I think I better do something high with my voice in this part of the song
’cause it’ll sound fucking awesome

[CHORUS]

It’s the return of the boyband
[AD-LIB CONTINUES]
It’s the return of the dancemove
Hold up, I’m not finished yet

It’s the return of the boyband
Right here in the USA
Say hi to your new favourite boyband
And we’re doing A-OK

This is the part just like every other song ever written
where we say something that means absolutely nothing
But we’ve got nothing to say…